A Fat Life!

Let's Dream Different!

2012-02-15T06:54:00.003+05:30

She dreams big. She dreams different.

We all have silly and somewhat weird dreams but most of us are even scared of dreaming different.

The biggest fear we have in our hearts is that what the society will think?

Just be who you are.

I have a childhood friend of mine who ends up questioning every action I make. Calls me abnormal. My reply: Idiot! Your just bloody too normal then. :P

He always asks me as to why do I do the things the way I do... I don't have any answer for that! Frankly saying, the ass is too judgmental.

I am fortunate to have such a grand family with beautiful loving parents and kid brother because no matter what I do or wherever I end up, I know they will be there to support me or at least scold me or to be very true, they are the best critics of my life.

Everyone has somewhat a "different" story and I would love to hear yours.

Picture Info: A photographer friend of mine. Real sweet and passionate about life.

BOOND

2012-02-09T03:26:00.003+05:30

Boond focuses on rural poor, people who earn mostly between $2-$4 a day.

EVERY DROP MAKES A DIFFERENCE

PLEASE VOTE FOR BOOND

Boond Rural Entrepreneur Project | MAHINDRA Rise | Spark the Rise Indian Projects #sparktherise: http://t.co/sId0Y2p

Boond (www.boond.net) creates entrepreneurs who sell and service development products like solar lamps (home systems), water filters, efficient cooking stoves, dynamo lamps and mosquito nets in remote rural areas or areas affected by calamities (floods etc.). The products are aimed at providing the poor with access to adequate lighting, clean water, efficient cooking and pest control, thereby improving their productivity and health. In order to successfully overcome the last mile of bringing these products to India's rural communities, Boond trains young people in becoming entrepreneurs to sell and service these development products. These products are borne out of direct needs and the consumers are assured of quality and after-sales service ensuring trust and loyalty. Creative designing of the products, smart packaging and long lasting partnerships also contribute towards low cost and a long life of the products.

Since all the sales and servicing is done through rural entrepreneurs, Boond also provides livelihood to the rural unemployed while at the same time ensuring that clients are well trained on how to use development goods to reduce their vulnerability to diseases and increase their productivity.

Our vision is to make rural India more entrepreneurial and sustainable, economically, socially as well as environmentally while ensuring that innovation and developments happening in cities and the western countries reach the places that need them the most.

Till date, we have impacted the lives of over 10,000 people in 5+ districts in four states of India, but our goal is to grow pan India with 10 distribution points within the next year. Boond is based on a sustainable model with incentives for everyone working for a common cause. The products are of high quality and are designed for rough rural use.

We have about 20 entrepreneurs who have successfully completed this project and are hoping to grow this number to 100 by the end of the year.

Times Now's program Amazing Indians profiles Boond and Rustam Sengupta. Set in Luk, a village in the tehsil of Kotra (district Udaipur) in Rajasthan, it has been produced by Ms. Anushree Bhoumik from Times Now.

Boond has till date impacted over 10000 lives and is a small social enterprise that creates entrepreneurs who sell and service value added environmentally friendly products in rural remote villages. The model not only ensure economic sustainability but also provides respectable livelihood to the rural unemployed.

For more details write to info@boond.net and visit www.boond.net or www.boondfoundation.org

Do You Listen...?

2012-02-04T00:18:00.001+05:30

Stop Talking. Stop Blabbering. Stop thinking.

Nonsense.

Empty your mind and just Listen.

Listen to your heart beat...Listen to the silence.

Listen to yourself.

Don't be a snob always.

Listen to others also for a change.

Don't look for solution outside. Don't make things more complicated. Look for solution within.

Listen to the people on the ground. Listen to what your heart says.

As far as the world goes...

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you and then you win!

Become Selfish for a Selfless Purpose.
Bunker Roy - way too inspiring and loved his Barefoot Movement.

Crown Yourself A King!

2012-01-17T00:40:00.001+05:30

Life screws you over again and again. But you still keep fighting for it! Why?
Because It is Worth It.
You are the King of your Own World!

Even the ripples of chaos seem soothing enough.
:)

Wanted to capture A Water Crown.
But even some of the mistakes turn out to be beautiful.
Love and learn from your mistakes.
They always make you shine in the end.
Always.

A Rosy Cozy New Year!

2012-01-01T13:50:00.000+05:30

A warm welcome to a rosy cozy New Year - 2012

A rose for all of you, wishing you all a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

A fuzzy fogged morning, but this rose was blooming away in all its glory on this majestic frosty day.

Aim for 2012 - Just have FUN!

Keep it simple. Keep it real.

Keep Smiling.

The twinkling moments in which you feel flashes of euphoria and you beam with happiness, keep those moments intact as 2012 will be over in a jiffy.

2011 - You were Awesome!

2012 - You better be Mind - Blowing!

Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

2011-12-26T02:49:00.000+05:30

I used a hammer and a nail to fix
a board on my fence in my front yard.
I've heard its said that, 'Good fences
make good neighbors'.

I never had a candid conversation with any of my neighbors ever. Only the festive occasions lead to awkward wishes and odd gifts. If someone asks you, "Whats your neighbor like?" - No clue. Our maids know more about our neighbors than rest of us. But genuinely the only excuse given by all of us is - "Who's got the time?". People don't like getting involved in other peoples personal issues or business. No matter how much effort you give in to know your neighbor and interact with them in a friendly manner - you always end up with a cold shoulder. The concrete walls must have made their cores cold by now. They are more like "Acquaintance with benefits" - not even friends. Its a tit for tat situation, every year they will make a list as to who all wished them and gifted them, so that they can do the same in return. The global warming isn't melting anyone's heart.

It's a big bad selfish world with only a few lovely friends and a rare almost extinct species of sweet neighbors out there.

A Flowery Mess

2011-12-21T06:52:00.002+05:30

Thank God to All those who ever called me "Mad".

:P :D ;)

Every now and then, you get stuck in a confusion or at times you just have no idea where you are, how you are and how are you supposed to react in a particular situation. However things aren't bad at all. In fact, it a happy mess...

A Flowery Mess.

Along with the workload, the never ending list of things to be done and the unbounded questions, there's that "inner peace".

I have no idea why but I am waking up with a smile and going back to sleep with a smile intact on my face.

I believe I am over the stage of figuring out "why" because I know after 2 minutes of anger or sadness or madness, I will be busy laughing my ass off for the next 15 minutes.

People may think I have lost it.

To be true, even I am surprised with myself but I am happy being stuck in a flowery mess.

Its isn't easy to sleep on the bed of thorns and flowers at the same time.

I believe it entirely depends on how you pluck of those thorns and enrich your life with the essence of flowers.

Its pretty ubiquitous the way we all complain about how everything's wrong always.

Despite of all the complaints, the only thing which matter in the end is "happiness".
Reality isn't pretty at all.

So are you happy?

Aren't We All! ;)

If you aren't busy being born, your busy dying.

Its Alright Ma! - Bob Dylan

PS: Turned 22 on 13th December 2011. Hell of a Birthday! :D

Innocence Facing Innocence

2011-12-08T04:33:00.000+05:30

Innocence Facing Innocence by rashnair4 on Flickr

I miss my childhood sometimes. That time of childhood when I didn't have a clue of what was going on around me. My toddler days - when the world used to fit in a snow globe and it used to snow when I shook it. Life was simple. Eat, Sleep, Play and Poop - that's all I had to do.

Whenever I look at toddlers and I see their goofy laughs and smiles - Its peaceful. Their broken words - the babas, mamas, bubus, bibis - which don't make any sense, are the most happy words I have ever come across. The innocence in their eyes is breath taking. I would love to simply go back to the time when I was a toddler and crawl around everywhere in the house. Without a worry about what's in store for the next day? Is it going to be a good or a bad day? Are things going to work out for the better...?

Every day is happy day. Every person is a good person. Every time is a happy time. There's no devil or saint. There's no complexity or confusion. There's laughter and joy.

The purity, the simplicity and the innocence - is heavenly.

Paint Those Faces

2011-12-04T02:57:00.001+05:30

Paint Those Faces via rashnair4 on Flickr

Theyyam God of Kerala.

Painted those faces...vibrant their drapes...bright their crowns ...a king, a queen ...for throbbing crowd...legends mystified ...expression epitomized...poetic melodies...resounding drums...without a word...with style and pause, ...on stage to enact...vision and wisdom, ...love and passion, war and bloodshed...epics cruise through their eloquent intelligence and at the end with their empty hands... subtract paints and those crowns of
A Bright Make Believe World.

Shreds and Scraps…

2011-10-29T00:18:00.001+05:30

Let’s Weave a Story…

I must content myself with shreds and scraps, the trick is to fill in the gaps, guided by the few clues one is given.

Most of what matters in our lives takes place in our absence; I must be guided by the memory of a once- glimpsed file with tell-tale initials; and by the other, remaining shreds of past, lingering in my ransacked memory – vaults like broken bottles on a beach… Like scraps of memory, sheets of newsprint used to bowl through the magician’s colony in the silent midnight wind.

~~~

Fin

Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards.

2011-09-07T00:53:00.001+05:30

Nominations for: Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards.

Last date for submission of entries Sept 10th.
The winners in each category will be announced around end-September.
Finally only two entries that the judges feel should be read by as many people as possible win cash prizes of Rs 10,000/- each.
Thank You.

Please do participate: http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/the-blogscars/

Fool is writing … !

2011-08-31T21:29:00.001+05:30

Wrote something something on 21 fools. :)

YeM- BeE- AyE : MBA Brouhaha! :

http://21fools.com/chai-biscuit/dal-fry/716-yem-bee-aye-mba-brouhaha

Shadow Child : Book Review :

http://21fools.com/chai-biscuit/kitabi-keede/668-the-shadow-child

Do have a look! :)

Dum Dee Dum Dee Dum… :)

2011-08-28T04:53:00.001+05:30

Late hours of night or early mornings are some of the most productive and best times of my life. There is an alluring clarity of mind and peace in heart. Somehow everything makes sense at the hour. All the endless confusions are numb.

A fresh cup of coffee is all I need. Pin drop silence and no sound of a single soul. No chaos just plain simple silence. Luckily, there are no plumpy blood sucking mosquitoes.

I love the solitary feeling of this hour. No doubt, mind ponders over millions of issues. But some how every thought is full of hope and positivity. May be, its the way we perceive things during these blissful hours. Devoid of all the mess and far away from the cluttered life.

I have always asked myself everyday unconsciously that “What do I want out of my life?” … “The reason for me being me in this world” … “Am I doing something good.”

To be true, the answers are different each day which makes me curl up like bowling ball everyday … aiming to smash with a bang for the perfect score. It feels prodigious. Without exception, every morning I feel the need to breathe in tons and tons of fresh air. I feel the need to fly high in a hot air balloon and take in all the fresh air in me like a blowfish. There is a desperate urgency for a breath of fresh air whole day no matter what.

Whereas at this hour, there's a soothing rhythm playing somewhere in the back of my head maybe, whispering sweet nothings in my ears. :) Dum dee dum dee dum…..

I tried to be a morning person N number of times with the success rate of 10% at most. I have come to realise that I am in love with the beauty of night rather than the day light. There is a peaceful harmony between both.

Imagine yourself laying on the grass and watching a beautiful full moon night sky… with its gazillion stars and its eternal mysteries… marvelling over and over and over again …

Its a beautiful night…

Dum Dee Dum Dee Dum … :)

Hiding under a rock …

2011-08-25T19:18:00.001+05:30

All I can do is hide under a rock right now …

Lots to study and huge amount of work load.

Before I go gaga filling up so many forms. I don't understand why do we have to fill so many forms. i would love it if they have one website or one gateway via which we could fill al the forms and make all the payments comfortably.

Different sites. Different method of filling up the form and different modes of payment. Confusing…Confusing…

So many freaking forms…

Dimaag ki Dahi…. :|

I thought I would like quants but …. its endless…

Dates are close.

Shit scared.

I want to break some bottles on some heads…! :P

Woooooohooooooooo!!!!!

Metro CAT .. :) meowW

2011-07-05T01:40:00.001+05:30

Started taking coaching CAT which makes me realize day in and day out that I am a pathetic lazy CAT. I don't understand the strange fascination faculty has towards the Bollywood stars. I wont call them stars exactly but “tube lights” of industry … like Tushar Kapoor. He’s the smelly butt of all jokes!!!

The old English professor is so fascinated by Katrina Kaif and Rakhi Sawant … I wonder whether I am sitting for CAT or Item Dance Competition. The amazing thing about him is that he can slouch in his seat and doze off in middle of crisis..!!! ( Crisis is more or less a situation in which puppies like me are lost in class.) So as per the instructions of another professor KD (I wish he was DK!!) , we got to read endlessly and stick to abstract non – fiction stuff… Yeah, I have gone all barmy by now. (Do suggest some good books!)

(A Catty Metro Life! … Moon Walking! Yeah .. baby!)

Apart from the CAT trauma, I fail to understand that why every guy in swimming pool is turning up in flowery pants …? I know, flowery pastels are “in – fashion” during summers but for Christ sake why flowery underpants in pool!!! As usual the bitching and the gossip in water is spicy. The best part – Water is excellent! The fish within me jumps in joy every time I take a dip.

Metro ride is fun. I get to stare a lot and travel a lot. Delhi is beautiful when it rains and its like a hot oven when it doesn't. So GOD we need to talk and patch up the deal. You give rains and I give you bananas!

Well, I am still high on my new BB. Gadgets are more comforting and I can already feel the intense bond between us. In metro, I have noticed a trend … Its not as if I am poking my nose somewhere or everywhere. But every single person is busy with his/her cell phone and whenever I get to see their cell phone screens… the Home Screen is usually personalized with a picture of theirs. I know you love yourself a lot but I don't get it. My Home screen will be a boring business type yet fast BB theme… but I am glad that I don't get to see myself on my cell every time I punch in something. I have mirror for that and what's so HOT about seeing yourself in your cell all the time and smiling a mischievous smile. How can you get turned on by your own picture …?

The lady security guards in the metro station are either too skinny that they may run and flop-flop die that instant or so plumpy - healthy that they wont even think of running in case of emergency… None of them look strong enough to combat in any sort of battle … even if its a battle of who gets the lemonade? I know, looks can be deceiving and they will be super strong with super powers but they all look so haggard and tired to the core.

Disclaimer : To all the Couples coochie-cooing in the station. Kindly do it more openly and boldly instead of sticking yourself in dark corners and staircases. Let me make a few mmses and become rich. I will handle the finances and you gain the fame. Spread some love in metro!

PS : Can you make farting noises with your hands ..? :D

All and Nothing :)

2011-06-26T22:54:00.001+05:30

This review is a part of the Book Reviews Program at BlogAdda.com. Participate now to get free books!

All And Nothing

Raksha Bharadia

Publisher: Rupa & Co. (2010)

Price: Rs 95

This is modern age with the latest technology and the Hip Fashion trends…yet we still struggle with “love”. We haven't yet been able to make pills to fall in or out of love..?

What does “LOVE” mean to you? Do you believe that you can fall in and out of love …? What all would you do to make a relationship work…? and Are you happy..?

“All and Nothing” by Raksha Bharadia is a story of how five individuals in this modern society are tackling their life and their relationships be it as a lover, wife, husband, mother, friend .. etc. Its a gripping story with such intricate details that you can very well relate to each of the characters. The plot is exceptionally simple and forthright and the author has beautifully expressed the grim realities that lie hidden beneath our daily lives.

Tina - A wife whose unconditional love isn't enough for her husband to let go of his past. You cannot make yourself fall in love with someone. Neither can you force someone to love you. “Aditya”, her husband still bore the scars on his heart of his manipulative ambitious ex – wife “Antara”. But all the scars didn't matter anymore, when she turned up in his life after 10 years. Meanwhile, in all her married years, Tina yearned for real love. She became an alcoholic and even her kids were scared of her during her alcoholic phase. She just couldn't get hold of herself and the stressful complex relationship with Aditya. She couldn't heal him ever.

Poorvi - A feminist mother who craves for a son but is ashamed to admit it and adopt one. The eldest daughter – in – law of her family who was apprehensive about the new born “boy” to the Choti Bahu . She wanted her in- laws to see her two daughters in the same light as they saw the new born grandson. She wanted to have a boy and in fact, when to the extreme measures of getting the third girl child aborted. A socialite living a grand life who couldn't acknowledge her want to have a son because of her own feminist beliefs.

Manas - A lover who lost his girlfriend because of his insecurities regarding commitment. He was young struggling copywriter and burdened with his family responsibilities and was scared of settling down and starting his own family with Gayatri. When he did realise his mistake – It was too late.

Kriya - A Daughter overshadowed by her father’s success. Born and brought up with a golden spoon. Talented, strong and beautiful fashion designer with an eye of an excellent manager. A divorced mother who runs a fashion empire but lacks the flair to create something of her own.

Upasna - A Domestic Violence victim who’s afraid to accept the reality and divorce her husband. She used to hide herself under long sleeves and dark shades and felt helpless. She was scared of standing up for herself. But when she saw her son enacting the same violence on a doll – She was jolted out of reality and she decided enough was enough.

(As the Beautiful Cover suggests … breaking the chains of life … to fly and reach the sky .. )

The author has woven the stories of five friends in such a melodious way that it makes you think about your individuality. It makes you question relationships, specifically your own relationships in this life. Sometimes it seems to me, the more modern we get, the more complicated we are. Its easier for us to maintain a healthier relationship with our gadgets than our own friends and family.

We don't need to depend on someone. Yes, we need people in our lives to make a joyous journey out of it but we need to be independent first. We need to value our own passions and interests. The compromises and adjustments are always there in every relationship but they shouldn't be to such an extreme level that you end up changing yourself completely. It will be like waking up to a lying mirror every morning. You cannot lose yourself because of someone. No one is worth it. You will be denying your own soul to live freely.

“All and Nothing” tackles almost every sort of moral issues we face on daily basis. Whether we should compromise or not? What kind of a fool we are to think we can heal someone? You cannot force someone to forget and move on. You cannot make some one love you. You cannot ruin someone’s life for your own selfish reasons. You cannot be silent when your rights and your individuality is violated. Will you think before you cheat..? Are you so shallow that you will play with other’s emotion for your own comfort? What is the reason for being jealous of someone’s talent instead of appreciating it..? Be it a girl or boy … why will you judge them differently? Are you fearful to commit in a relationship ..? You cannot drown yourself in your work or alcohol to get over the reality ..! You have to learn to face the challenges instead of avoiding or hiding from it.

Life is difficult…it was never meant to be easy.

The author shows how the main character Tina in the story finds her own inner peace and she asks her friends to heal their own miseries by accepting their fears and mistakes. It narrates the struggle she went through in the woods, shouting to no one yet everyone to find her true self. Tina is shattered by Aditya's betrayal and even attempts suicide but unlike a typecast deeply-in-love character, comes out of her situation in a refreshingly different way. She divorced her husband (I still feel she let him off easy!) later on, got rid of her alcohol habits, found her passion in photography and led a beautiful life with her two daughters. In a similar way, the rest of her friends were called in from the hustle and bustle of city to the serenity of Mahabaleshwar, to sort out and discuss their issues and lead a better life by accepting their guilt and faults and taking steps towards correcting things instead of sulking on their own.

I Loved the Title of the book … “All and Nothing” … The chemistry between the two words is fascinating .. you have everything yet you don't have anything. The way everything seems perfect from outside yet imperfect from inside. You have every luxury in your life but if you don't have love, life is nothing. You seem happy and complete from outside but if your fake, then your unhappy and incomplete from inside. Life is a journey from all to nothing or from nothing to all, which is defined by the way you live it.

After I was finished with the book, all I could ask myself was “Who am I..?”

My Heart said : “ I am ME” :)

Rating : 3.8/5

It’s a must read. It’s as refreshing as a hot cup of coffee which awakens your soul and makes you see life with open eyes!

How often do you lose things…?

2011-05-30T19:03:00.001+05:30

Have you ever lost :

Your Keys

Your Socks

Your Pens

You Important Papers

Your I- Card

Your Metro Card

Your Pen – Drive

Your Mind

Your Patience …!

and the never ending list … The smaller the thing is .. the easier its is to misplace… and the more you suffer while searching for it. ( I have no idea how small your brain is …..!) :P

I am not going to over – analyse the situation and point out .. whether these are the symptoms of some memory disorder or some disease. Heck! We all often misplace things and create a havoc while finding it and when we do … We all have a glint of that awkward smile on our faces … :P

We blame it on others mostly… We try to rake our brains endlessly in order to figure out where we saw the “lost thing” …

I cannot buy anymore metro cards. I am sick and tired of losing metro cards… I cannot wear a gold chain around my neck to remember where I kept my glasses… I cannot lose so many pens (I can blame my friends for this) … I cannot lose anymore pen drives … Why do they make it freaking so small… ?

A friend of mine recently lost his pen drive. He apparently forgot it in his pockets and it got washed away…and so did the entire data in it. Sigh. We loose coins, rings, needles, ear rings … We even forget names. Why do people have such long names…? Why cant we all have tattoos like Bar Codes on our wrists… stating our identities. May be … because its fun to get know people .. bit by bit ..

So just tell me the first letter of your name … the next letter I shall learn some other time…

So what's the solution for this…? As long as I am able to find them … Am happy. Its like an adventure on weekly or monthly basis. I get to use my brains and reorder and rearrange the memories. I get to use my super powers and polish my detective skills. Its like pressing a refresh button on your life once in a while. Even though you feel like breaking chairs and tables … and even jumping of the cliff during your search … but the amount of satisfaction you attain after finding it… Its blissful. Its almost as good as getting Ice Cream Treats.

You should always treat yourself with something after such a feat. Hmm…

PS: I found my black marker pen! I am treating my self with Water- Melons! :P Oh .. How I love them.

PPS: Lose all the things … but be damn careful while loosing your heart. :)

Sleepy Sleepy Times… yawns…

2011-05-16T22:34:00.001+05:30

Ever wondered what's the reason behind sleepy mornings…? May be am so bored when I wake up in morning these days that I often up end wondering why am I so lazy to wake up …( I haven't got anything to read in loo these days… So have to put the thinking cap on! ) …

Its not as if I am regular owl neither do I follow vampirism… but why? All I feel like doing is hugging the pillow and going back to sleep… or may be continue with the action-packed dream.

Now, I don't mind sleeping like an ass day-in-day-out, but what I definitely do mind is people calling me at those hours and DAMMIT! I have no clue what all I end up saying that time ….which results in them pulling my leg … later on! May be I get drunk when i am sleepy…and Its really awkward.

What is the weirdest thing you have ever done in your sleep… ?

I sang a song once…

I have cried in my sleep once…

I have woken up in middle of night and walked around like a zombie – opened all the doors and windows. Oh yeah! My whole family freaked out. :D

I have poked a finger in my cousins nose once … n even recorded her snoring in a sleepy state…

I have cursed many in my sleep…

I have kicked once or twice…

I have rolled over in sleep and fallen off the bed thrice…

I have murmured random things… sometimes even equations…

Have given kisses and hugs as well on phone …only in one particular case… ahem ahem never mind.

I love my baby sleep… I mean with 2 pillows n 2 blankets…what?? Am a huge person with huge demands and I love my sleep. Wont call it beauty sleep … because according to my mom I look like drunkard when I sleep and when I wake up ..and I look like SHREK! Dragging myself out of the bed and brushing my teeth…

Have you ever thought about what you usually end up thinking while brushing..? Hmm… Will try it tomorrow for sure.

PS: I need to find something soon enough to read or listen for loo. I am not utilising my time enough! I better get back to my senses now… I had nothing to post about in the first place… wooohooo!

~ I am falling in Love ~ :)

2011-04-30T21:48:00.001+05:30

I wont say who, why, when, how, where, what….

Because I am questioning all this to myself as well…

World seems colourful again and he makes me smile… :)

This heart is beating again … Its scared but its trying…

And

I am falling in love…

I love the way he laughs at my silly jokes and calls me “mad” and I love the way he says love you… more like whispers … :)

A total weirdo and a weird fetish for ears…!! :)

I feel happy and most importantly, I feel like a free spirit flying along with him … and dammit! I so need a vacation…and hold his hand and feel the sand under my feet…

I may take my time but I will learn to walk a little day by day…holding your hand…

Guess Who..?!?!?

The Mystery Man… With Super – Powers! :)

For now … All I want to do…

I so wanna dip in… :) … Love summers n love water! ……… He says he doesn't know how to swim..! :P

PS : Sigh… exams time… again! Life is always happening during exams time… :) … Heart is Smiling…

~ WoRn OuT ~

2011-04-13T20:56:00.001+05:30

Perfect song for the mood .. "Over Kill - Colin Hay"

Am at a certain point of life where I am exhausted for real … mentally. Whatever tiny – whiny brain I have… it refuses to think anymore. Off – late… Two Questions are ruling my life. (My stars are not in favour … Saturn and Jupiter are sort of busy honeymooning.)

Where Have YOU beeeen…?

Everyone in the virtual world have asked this question … ONCE atleast. I have answered the same to everyone “Tied up with work” … apparently some understand it and some don't. Some welcomed back warmly and others laughed along heartily. A few were definitely snobby and pissed off… (I know its the age of multi tasking and I agree I am a joker but I sooo can NOT juggle people.) So I apologize to whomsoever I couldn't attend to…

When will we get to Seeeee the magazine…?

Believe me, even I am very eager to get done with the entire work and have a thing called “LIFE” back… My own money is stuck in the project. I have fallen head over heels in love with the administration folks and I am certainly camping in the office day in and day out… Singing sweet poems to them… Looking in their adorable eyes and trying to figure out how much chai and biscuit they consume in a day … staring at their bribed beer bellies fondly… I definitely understand now that government procedures are even slower than the snail’s poop… Balderdash!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The good things which I gained apart from my weight in this drama are a bunch of kind, sweet and crazy friends. People who were there for real and who helped. An experience of how, when, why life gets fucked up and still I laughed and snorted like a pig. We sympathized, empathized and mocked at each others miseries … and food … it was raining treats plus people from every nook and corner of world…

I sat in library from 9 am till 5 pm for reformatting and editing the entire soft copy…closing time. Broke all the records… Lived on Iced – Tea … Looked like a lost baby elephant and ran in the corridors… 24*7… Bitched about evil professors (major satisfaction!) and cried buckets and buckets of invisible tears.

I have fallen in love and out of love with my work… but you can never trust those wily old sly professors and their antics. Humbugs! One moment they appreciate us and the very next moment they will doubt us for flimflam. Its a pack of 4 clowns… 4 jokers who worked their ass off. Time will tell…whether we end up as happy or sad clowns but yeah, life has surely lampooned us.

For now, we are deadpan.

Nothing but Silence and the little worm in the back of our minds … thinking, wondering, eating brain cells and trying to figure out a way to finish off the entire work… So that we can breathe… Freedom (Sweetest Word In the Dictionary..!)

Peace. :)

PS: I will definitely phodo a nariyal when everything gets done… Lately, I am drawn towards this “~~~~~” symbol a lot. I am loving it. :)

The Department Farewell…

2011-03-28T23:08:00.001+05:30

Oh yeah… I applied make up. The pig had make up on …! But the farewell was hilarious plus I laughed like a maniac …
Got this from the juniors .. :P

Plus Ms. Kaizen (The Commerce Society) … just working hard like a donkey…!

It was fun fun fun….….. :P

JUVENILIA 2011

2011-03-17T20:17:00.001+05:30

Launched my magazine on 14th March ….

Will do mass circulation on the Farewell Day…

FYI… I am not dead… I was freaking so caught up with work and politics and the college game … That I barely found anytime to fart even. Slept like a pig on bed full of papers and stuff. Room looked like a garbage dump and bloody dark circles.

Worked hard. Worked like nuts… Learnt a lot of new curses. Bitched a lot about administration. Buttered a lot of morons. Laughed like a maniac. Smsed like hell… Airtel you should fucking thank me! and you bloody 3G .. you consume hell lot of battery…!

Went for an exciting trip ,,, Shivpuri… Camping.. river rafting.. trekking and bla bla …Lived like a crazy old lady on the riverside for three days… Got all tanned and believe me … went it came to loo matters … everything was sandy sandy..! You had to pour sand on everything!

The Ink-Slingers… JUVENILIA … this years theme “Nostalgia” .. the thrilling days of yesteryears…

This is the cover page… and we got hell lot of exciting things inside. A 100 page magazine… and its my baby… Worked my ass off for it…. Editor in Chief sounds weird… But Bloody HELL …. IT WAS FUN..!

What is ….?

2011-02-08T23:25:00.001+05:30

Can you explain to me in simpler terms that what exactly is “ego”… Is it a boon or a curse…?

What exactly is hatred and why do you end being jealous of person you hardly know….?

Wherever I go these days all I see is hatred, ego clashes and enmity…

Its dark and its full of dirty blood sucking politics….

The little clown in my head ends up laughing at me and softly mutters ….

“Welcome to the Real World”

Whether your actions are good or bad, I am no judge of that but whatever you do, just keep your conscience clear…

Smiles.

The Squeaking Cupboard …

2011-01-19T04:43:00.001+05:30

Thanks to the squeaking cupboard … am always alert whenever there’s an earthquake and thanks to my nature call timings as well… (lets not get into that details).

So as the cupboard squeaked and for double confirmations .. I checked the fans and yes, they were belly dancing.

I again ran across the house and woke up my parents and my brother…. (I didn't shout this time at all. Was dead calm) …and alerted them about the earthquake..

When I went outside the house … I met the 7th floor family who were freaking out and running downstairs…

Somehow… am thankful to the spirits .. to wake me up at the right time … and glad, that we are alive.

But a part of it makes me sad, I was online during the earthquake… and the thought of dying while facebooking or twittering … is depressing. ( The thought of blogging about it also seems creepy.)

You didn't die while sleeping peacefully (neither an adventurous nightmare nor a sweet romantic dream) … You didn't die laughing…You died while being active in the virtual world.. rather than a real one.

The thought of dying that way… is just too eerie…

Just imagine .. the last person you talked to before dying was online… the last laugh you shared with someone was virtual… the last fight you shared with someone was virtual…

What if I never got the opportunity to run for my life… and died then and there.

The last human interaction was virtual. Machines are more comforting than human. No doubt. We love all our gadgets. But still …. you don't have anyone next to you… No family, no friends, no loved ones… You just dropped dead then and there with the laptop… or mobile or .. ipad …. connected to the virtual world.

That's way too unearthly.

….

Weird thoughts.

PS: Yes, am alive again. Don’t ask about the spirits … I am highly doubtful about them as well … but yeah.. spirits of nature do exist.. or not? … On a lighter note,… I do know am going to hell for sure after I die.. …

What Happens during Examinations… ?

2011-01-05T03:06:00.001+05:30

A list of things which has been happening lately due to the exam fever …

I get suicidal smses from friends in distress and I pay my homage by sending them more dramatic suicidal smses.
Its normally believed that no matter what we cram at the final moment, we go blank in front of answer sheets. Now, we don't go blank … we conduct eye signals contest. The winner ends up scoring the least marks.
In the final year, cheating fundas aren't working at all. We cant hide the 10 Years booklet and cheat during examination. Because the 10 Years booklet is FULL OF SHIT this year.
Mobile phones are a piece of crap. Fuck you 2G Network. Sigh. So no Google no Answers.
We were blessed by the presence of our HOD (Head of the Department) as invigilator on our very first paper. The late night chit preparations went down the toilet immediately.
Unless we are diabetic, we cannot make an excuse to go to loo every time. As a result, we end up going to loo only once in order to shed a few tears of joy and pray to our shrine…. which has flushed down endless cheat notes in the past century.
Its an Aunt Irma festival, everyone’s cranky, moody, upset and can burst into tears like two year olds at any moment.
When we get finished with one paper… for the next one hour… everyone feels GAY.
At the end of that hour, we are back to our zombie spirits.
Even if you aren't blessed with 100 marks … the examination paints your eyes into two dark 00. Having fun with dark circles …. eh?
This is the time when teachers snigger like devils in the corridors and we are waiting for a miracle to happen on our blank sheets while warming our benches in class.
They continue to snigger till the result time.

After the exams are over, the ultimate freedom is addictive …. its like walking on clouds of clouds of clouds of clouds ….. Ultimate high. With cureless hangover.
Then we grin like idiots.
.
Am still Dead. Will wake up on 14th January.
Best of luck to ALL … for all examinations.
PS: Don't give philosophical mantras that life is an examination. Life exam is fun. It can never be compared to the mindless scribbling on a piece of paper for the endless three hours. That's torture.
Happy. Sad. Mood Swings. Exams are on!

No One.

2010-12-26T01:31:00.001+05:30

Just No one.
When your happy you don't remember anyone. When your sad you recall everyone.
But there is no one.
Neither in Happiness nor in Sadness.
Life seems fucked up for a while but it turns out to be good later on. More or less you adjust to it.
But still there is no one.
And yet you haven't accepted the fact.
That there wont be anyone ever.
Solitude. Silence. Serenity. Sleep.

21st Birthday … :)

2010-12-13T00:47:00.001+05:30

I am 21 years or 252 months or 1,095 weeks or 7670 days old ..... Happy Birthday to me !

I have grown a lot in the past 21 years … figuratively and literally. In fact, one of the best comments I ever had from my mom’s friends is that your children have grown up like broiler chicken.

21 Years … I almost feel like an adult now but I hardly act as one. I behave like granny sometimes … since childhood and old age are almost equivalent … so yeah, am still a kid by heart who sounds like an old age lady.

I have committed many mistakes in my life… made many right decisions and wrong ones and fought like a crazy fat warrior with many… but I don't regret any single day or any single moment of my life.

I am thankful to be alive at 21 … with all the melodramatic teen drama I had.

May be weird, may be wild …. but life has been a pleasant ride till now.

Wish me luck!

No clue …

2010-12-09T23:03:00.001+05:30

I really have no clue … about why I do certain things and why I don't? … Whether I am right or wrong … It no longer matters … or does it? … *endless thoughts* ..

STOP THINKING YOU FAT WOMAN! …

Bandaloop..

2010-11-30T21:13:00.001+05:30

Its an American Aerial Dance Company and this was their first performance in India at LIC building, CP, New Delhi.. I attended the afternoon show.

Sheila aunty attended the evening show according to the twitter informers. ( Yes, I am part of a secret service.)

It was an amazing performance and I will let the pictures talk…

Notice: If your earning huge income then please do some charity and gift me a good camera .. SLR or DSLR .. .. these are taken by Coolpix ..

I shot the video as well.. if possible will upload… *phew* but its freaking large mb files…

They are in www.flickr.com/rashnair4

PS: Caught cold again plus fever … bloody fucked up immune system.

PPS: I myself tried hanging on the walls ok …. but they were mortified at the thought of letting an elephant hang on the wall via tiny ropes… They were stick thin and they were gorgeous and danced beautifully..….. and yeah. we had severe neck pain after the show…

FUN.

FIN.

Why the hell do people yell??

2010-11-11T21:29:00.001+05:30

The lady screams in my ear…drawing the attention of other nincompoops in the corridor…who were apparently busy fidgeting with their cell phones … suddenly started staring at us as if their networks went dead…. What did she scream? “ Oye! You Have Water Bottle kya?”… I said “No” … Then she happily bounces like a ball to the next person and screams the same forbidden question… and the stupid crowd stares again! ( Reason: Water Cooler was just Ten Feet Away.. )

May be she is the latest victim of the scream therapy or she is a tortured soul who feeds on extra attention or she just had an operation and is checking her god- gifted vocal chords by experimenting on “How to make a person Deaf?” … and surely, she will be honoured with a doctorate by some prestigious alien university for her research! …. but for Christ sake! Are we the only creatures left in this world to get tormented by the Banshee Queen?

The most important question of this hour: Why the hell do people yell? ( Be it Any Time zone) ..

Not to be confused with naturally high pitched people. Load the gun and set your target on the person who screams every stupid preposterous thing “in your ear” and SHOOT! When a simple conversation can be held with calm voice and patience, I fail to understand the need to shout for unnecessary things. I have no idea about what others may think but please don't shout …else your a baboons ass!

In search of some peace plus a stock of Huge Cello Tapes (Preferred Sale at Discount) and a few evil souls to do the good deed of Mummifying the Shrieking Sister! ( A Charity Based Event… Donations are accepted!)

Disclaimer: Whatever I wrote above … I typed with my toes … … So Who’s Your Banshee Queen or King?

Messy Week … Forms and Diwali!

2010-11-07T20:20:00.001+05:30

Right now . Having cold and cough and literally, asking everyone around me that “ When is the world going to end?” .. some days do have such effects… Had a lot of guests and a huge party … and a very bad headache!

So this week.. Well I was busy doing a lot of social work for my classmates. The ones who are so freaking busy with CA and MBA, that they couriered me their docs so that I can fill up their forms. Filling any sort of form in my college is almost equivalent to having a wrestling match with Khali. If you do have good connection with college staff and admin people which normally includes all the “peons, lab assistants and guards” .. then the work can be done easily…. else its a WAR.

So while I was filling forms.. I came across a variety of people.. in the long Queues .. till the VT ^{(Virgin Tree)} ..

The fresher's… the ones who are filled up with extra fresh Mentos energy and they end up pointing.. at every single person who breaks the line and will start an argument and sound like three monkeys of Gandhi ….. I don't mind such people.. because after three years of college .. I do know for a fact, that they themselves will be breaking in between the queues in second year … and by then, they would have forgotten all about their ideals and morals and ethics…. it somehow gets washed away …along with the buckets of sweat and we all become like Homer Simpson just in three years of graduations .. that's quite an achievement!
The politicians… being in Hindu college … We have been exposed to a lot of campus politics and strikes and college parliaments fights and votes and naare baazi… These people block the whole counter and submit their forms and their followers will be guarding the area like hounds.. and they smell like dogs ..
The junior- senior funda… The seniors like us relax in the lawns while our juniors are in the line standing for us.. and getting our work done …. these little Einstein's work hard to impress the girls and the seniors… but nothing works in their favour ever…
The hosteller's … they know every single dog in the campus and they can get their work done in a flick via their connections… and we find most of them under the VT praying for their luck to shine … Last Year’s VT^{(Virgin Tree)} … Devi was Katrina Kaif .. They prayed like hell to Kat Devi on Valentine’s Day…
~~I hope I don't get sued by them~~ …

Thankfully, our admin people extended the date of submission till 10th Nov after witnessing the entire chaos … and so the fatty me …stood in the queue for my form and for the rest of the forms I utilised the above mentioned resources …I have filled 4 forms by now and my works done. *phew*… ~~I am not a monkey.. I am a baby elephant or a hippo … depends on which animal you prefer.~~

Diwali was celebrated nicely and finally made a proper rangoli this year… used a lot of flowers. Got some lovely Diyas and candles… it was a lovely and peaceful Diwali… the crackers are still bursting. BOOM! …

Diwali night and the next day was spent without water… There was a major issue with the building’s motor ..the whole society was not having water supply. We were playing bucket- bucket by dragging our asses in the park and collecting water from the pumps..

Life was really stinky and messy without water .. I died and went to heaven when water was back on! Right now my sick reincarnated being is typing! Amen! ..~~who will go to hell.?.~~

PS: Happy Belated Diwali!

Spooky Hullabaloo..

2010-10-24T12:38:00.003+05:30

Its time for trick-or treat, costumes and carving jack-o’- lanterns…. So behold! yourgoing to be bewitched by the spirit of Halloween.

Have you ever walked in your sleep? I did. I used to haunt my house like a zombie and open all the doors and windows of our house. (That was the only weird thing I ever did during the whole noctambulism state… Lazy me!) My mom fantasized that “I was possessed”.

A few months back, I was tormented by the presence of some Manipuri Baba and he gave me an “Egg”. According to him, a part of my soul died and if I ate that egg “my soul” will be harmonized. (Dirty Secret : I played soccer with that Egg )

I have witnessed black-white magic and have graciously devoured on many stories about devils, spirits, re- incarnations, deaths, murders and rituals. Every town has its own evil old hag who has an evil old cat .There are certain holy spirits in every village who claim to predict future via broken mirrors. There are rituals performed in certain communities to bid farewell to the death and prophesize about their next birth… ( I know, life’s freaking weird).

Halloween is a lively gala with the custom of putting on costumes of monsters and kids fluttering around in the neighbour hood for trick-or-treats. Its the festival of dead with the intention to ward off the evil, marking the beginning of “darker- half” of the year.

I hardly attended any Halloween Costume Parties but if you do get a chance to attend one, then do drag your lazy ass to that party for sure! ( The winner of our fresher’s party had worn a Dracula Costume )

So if you find big pumpkins and you know how to carve a pumpkin, then please try making jack-o-lanterns. Plus, everyone of you will be having free sms packs so instead of sending stupid forwards to everyone. Play a ghastly prank and send Halloween wishes on October 31st and please do share your ghostly adventures in here.

Track down people who are scared of blood and scare them away with fake blood. Paint your face red, white and black-blue and for a desi version adorn a white sari.. have some candles and sing “Gumnaam Hain Koi”. If you naturally look scary, all you need to work upon is a permanent scowl and a shrieking voice. (I make bad pj’s)

Disclaimer: All the above stuff are to be performed only when your absolutely free and are insured.

For those who are so- called “busy”. Just rent a classic scary movie and watch it all alone. For special effects, you can watch the movie in dark (not recommended for people with heart ailments).

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

PS : Have a Haunting Week… and a Happy Halloween . Be Ghastly on 31st October .

PPS: I am sticking to watching Scary movie. I am scary enough to ward off evil in my own skin rather than a costume .

Wobbly Tottery Month

2010-10-13T12:32:00.000+05:30

Its been almost a month since I posted on my blog and yes, Life has been aberrant. So let me update you about the bizarre happenings…

Bloody Floody Situation: After 22 years Delhi was flooded but in reality, there was hardly any water on the main roads. Most of the fields around Yamuna were indeed submerged and buffaloes were having a bouncy time. In fact, near the Kashmiri Gate ISBT region, the whole parking area was under water and they were using tiny blue boats for their to and fro. We never experienced rains to this extent and due to the bad drainage system even my college area plus some nagar’s and dagar’s got flooded (those holidays were truly cherished :P ). The whole episode was exaggerated by the media in such a bad way that “I” of all people in this world, ended up getting smses saying “take care” (Believe me, I don't have any suicidal tendency so I WONT jump in river). As far as the media is concerned, they stood on the banks of river, more like jumped into the river and were live telecasting about how they were risking their lives in flood and how Delhi was wiped out. Though I was very disappointed that none of the reporters got washed away in this flood. Anyways, we had enough of the rains and floods, so the mighty lord blessed us with scorching sun and humidity.And Bang! Our sweaty days are back!

Earthquake: Yes! Yes! we had minor earthquake!.. You didn't know??!!!?? Oh yeah, It was late midnight and I was sitting on the pot that time. Figuring out the deep secrets of Universe.. and THEN the pot started moving.. My first reaction was that may be I am dizzy or something but THEN I noticed the chimes moving.. and THEN I ran like a maniac to my parents room and banged on their door and shouted “EARTHQUAKE” … after 5 minutes it was over and the rest of my family slept during the entire episode without noticing a thing. For confirmation I checked Twitter.. and there people were talking about the earthquake! and THEN I was sure that I was not hallucinating. The cosmic conundrums of universe still remain unsolved but the nature call was made on the right time. I am mighty proud of my BLADDERS! (Earthquake hit Afghanistan, Pakistan and Northern India and measured 6.3 on Richter Scale)

Common Wealth Games: The controversies, the blame game, the messy construction, the snake, the roof falling, the corruption…. CWG has been and still is a hot topic in the entire world and Kalmadi (I sniggered like Mr. BURNS during his entire speech) is like a household name but apart from all that, it’s raining GOLD, SILVER and BRONZE for INDIA (SHERA ROARS!). The whole event is being conducted sprightly and MY GOD, the opening ceremony was awesome… It took me half an hour to realize that YES, its FINALLY happening in our country. (little secret: the event started with Manipuri Dhol Dancers and then Kerala Dhol Dancers, Mom and Dad were very surprised). On a personal note, this event gave me 20 days vacations and 8 relatives at my place. Relatives are comparatively more enthusiastic about the games than us and everyone has been stuffing up food like buffoons and attending games.

Its been a crazy time and for a change I was attending college on regular basis (attendance boss!) and with so many things happening at once, It’s been a merry ride. :D

PS: Since I was attending college “regularly”, I was studying a bit and waking up at early hours… the whole schedule got ruined during vacations. :P :O :P

PPS: I have added a YouTube link in the above link section and have uploaded a few karaoke videos .. so if your interested in lullabies .. then do visit http://www.youtube.com/user/rashnair4 :P …

Fartylicious!

2010-09-10T16:39:00.001+05:30

Your sitting in a restaurant, you sneakily look around and lift your bum a bit and silently release the fart and *phew* the pressure is gone but you still prey that nobody notices. And that’s where you go wrong, because eager noses always sniff such things. Now, you try to look blank and snobbishly say “Oh! That’s a real stinky one…Some people just cant behave.” Gotcha!! :D

Fart is the most embarrassing thing for many of us but when you actually think of farts in general. Its not that embarrassing, even if it does stink. Farts have nothing to do with your “behaviour”, it simply depends upon the ability to tolerate pressure. Come to think of it, our body ends up producing like half a litre of Fart Gas per day, as a result, we all end up farting like 13-14 times per day. So may be even while reading this you might be farting and sniggering like a devil :P.

There’s also a gender bias in the whole phenomena of “Farting”. As far as men goes, they fart everywhere and they laugh it off in a mighty jolly way. Its considered like a trophy for most of them and they are proud of it. Somehow the concept is similar as burps, the velocity of your burp represents the efficiency of your digestive system. In fact, in the Indian culture, most of the Daughter in-laws meekly accept the appreciation of their food in the form of burps made by the in-laws. So may be the loudest fart signifies the “manly intestines”. But somehow farting around is never considered “womanly”. If your a woman, they expect you to control it till you burst and you swear on all gods and hope that its a place where no one sees you. Most of the girls end up lying out of shame and deny that they ever fart, which is humanly impossible. If you don't fart in day time, believe me you will be having circus of farts during your sleep, at night time.

Sadly, I am aware of only two types of gases, that is, burp and fart, which are released by humans. But the varieties of farts is darn interesting. The most killer fart is the silent fart because you don't hear it ,you smell it and it can choke you to death with its pungent aroma. Then there is a squeaky fart, a motor fart which is a never ending ride, a plain fart and a blasting fart so strong that it almost leaves you with an after effect of poop (beware of this one). The list of farts will be never ending and yeah, farting is like the best revenge you can get on your ex and I even came to know about a case, in which the woman divorced her husband just because of his farting habits. So if your bored with your partner, the best way out is to start farting. :P

Conclusion: I still don't know whether farting is good or bad, but if your given an option whether to fart or to die, farting is a rather better option, no doubt :P. The next time you smugly giggle away when someone else farts. Just remember, Been There Done That. So fart away because life is FARTYLICIOUS!….

PS: I know I am on the verge of insanity. But we all are farting good! So lets farty away!!! :P

Pyjamas Dramas below the Belt!

2010-08-31T18:13:00.001+05:30

During the whole short trip for cousin’s marriage in south mom was cribbing about my pyjama's. She complained about the fact that they were too loose and too old and it was time to throw them away. I straight away refused, without any second thoughts and I still stick to my point.

There’s always a set of clothes in your closets which are comfortable and no matter where you are, they make you feel at home. So the drama begins :

Pyjama’s : They are the most comfortable clothes you can ever sleep in. They become old, get torn a bit and they even have some old stains which depends upon your clumsiness. But in the end, even if your laurel and you end look like hardy in such clothes. It doesn't matter because you are at ease in those clothes. Your chest will breathe freely and your tummy will have all the freedom it needs to digest the food and do flip flops. Your hips can swing away as much as they want to. In fact, according to different cultures the night wear is also very different. For instance, take lungi’s as an example, its got the best cross ventilation feature yet. You feel free and you fly high!

Jeans : There’s always a favourite jean’s. Its neither too tight nor too loose and fit’s perfectly. I am not asking you to join the sisterhood of travelling pants and find a bunch of people who fit in your jeans. If it fits you that much is enough. But yes, there will always be a jeans which ends up being a companion for many years. You can travel anywhere in them without worrying about the long hours of journey ahead and when a point comes when you cant do anything but chuck them away… Just pick up a pen and scribble on and on. As it will help you relive the moments of your past and for this purpose you have to have fun now. :)

Undergarments : Often noticed people having a favourite, even in this department. (This knowledge is based upon the public display of under wears with freaky low waist jeans which can fall anytime). Moreover, they have favourite’s on colour basis as well. You might have understood the point by now. So keep a super duper collection of colourful undergarments for a Rangeen life. :P

Have seen people keeping one set of clothes for Holi each year. As the year goes by, the clothes become more and more colourful and it’s somehow like a scrapbook of Holi. Like every other stuff, clothes do play an important role in life, be it of daily life or occasions.

Everyone has their own favourite T-shirt or a Shirt or a Skirt. Clothes definitely define us but they don't have to be flashy. They have to suit your personality, they have to fit you and mostly, they should be comfortable enough for you. Because Your personality will shine only when your confident and comfortable.

PS : The trip was a success and yes, even the sari was :P. ROFL! Lately I just cannot write anything. Mind’s always busy in work or something or the other. So just rambling on as usual!

A Simple Song!

2010-08-09T20:47:00.001+05:30

I am simply blank and have nothing to write about for a while. Past month have been sick mostly. Monsoon season aint my cup of tea or pakoda’s … So here’s the song….. sung by me. :)

Way Back Into Love

The Big Four Eyes Died….

2010-07-29T02:39:00.001+05:30

He worked in a small cubicle space with his big spectacled eyes buried under huge piles of registers, never knew whether he was the master of numbers or the numbers were his masters. His tales of misfortunes in random businesses have been famous and most of the people who knew him used to say he’s a spineless man. According to these people, he even ended up marrying a women who ruled his world and even in the household she was considered the king by all.

Was he happy with his own life. Was he able to overcome his failures and was he really a selfish person, I have no idea. I listened to the tales of random strangers by other strangers. Fairy tales were never told but reality was presented as a perfect cuisine with different flavours each time. His death was a shock to many since he seemed perfectly healthy but the main question in my mind was that I hardly came across any people who in truth, felt sorry for his death.

His smile never felt real. Was he a tortured soul or was he plain evil. Sometimes it felt as if an evil plan was always formulating in his head and people always had to put on their guard around him so that he doesn't harm them. If you end up doing bad to someone, is your soul ever in peace.

In reality, apart from his own family, no one seemed bothered. They gave their condolences and left the ceremony one by one. For some his existence never mattered and for some his death didn't matter. Whether he made any real friends in his life, only he knows. Did he harm people and hurt them in such a bad way that even after his death they couldn't forgive him with their whole heart. Was he ever guilty of the deeds which ended up hurting others. Was his greed ever justifiable. Is it easy to forgive a person after his death, even if he tried to destroy your life umpteen times. Do people actually feel remorse for the death of a person with a very bad reputation and public image.

May be no one ever knew him. May be he had a different set of ideologies regarding this world. May be his actions were performed according to his own morals and his own perspectives. We cant judge anyone. No one can define what is good or bad. But how can you sleep at night knowing that your one of the people responsible for snatching away someone’s home and making them practically homeless just because of your greed. How can you act as a mole for whole of your life and harm the people who did good for you just for the sake of a bundle of notes. Money rules no doubt, its necessary for survival but in the end, you cant eat paper and survive. People were definitely shocked at his death news but apart from that, his death didn't even create a single ripple in this big pond. May be people don't mourn over the loss of a bad fish. How and when and on what parameters are you termed as a bad fish by your friends and by your society, may be he knew. He might have been a wonderful father. He might have been a good obedient husband. The harmony in his life might have been created by the different lives he lived.

With a true heart, all I can say is may his soul rest in peace because he was never at rest when he was alive. The Big Four Eyes shall rest now.

I don't have answers and I don't need answers because I am also from the same crowd for whom, his existence never mattered and neither his death.

Eternal Masks….

2010-07-21T21:47:00.001+05:30

I chop away the vegetables

To marinate them in the sauce

The waiter hollers the endless orders

And I wish the time would just pause…

As the food’s savoured by the guest

They leave with a tip and smile..

I Swipe away the creases of my black dress

And clean up the cluttered pile…

I am a Chef.

I dig the flowers, violet, red and blue

And prune away the weeds..

Relax on the porch with my muddy tools

While collecting the dried pumpkin seeds.

Cook shouts from kitchen for fresh chillies

As little master runs wild among the blooms and falls..

I pick up the spade and attend to the garden lilies

Waiting for the seeds to sprout and grow up tall..

I am a Gardener.

Image Courtesy : www.pringoo.com

I get five, ten, fifteen and twenty…

to make them reach their destination..

My muscles pain because I drive plenty.

Wiping away the beads of perspiration..

I ring the bell and clear the crowd..

While they chatter away randomly.

Sometimes I play the radio too loud

Waiting for the next customer calmly..

I am a Rickshaw Driver.

I want to do a new job everyday..

Wake up each morning to find new tasks

Be a joker, a fireman or a potter with china clay..

And Live a life with Eternal Masks.

I don’t have a dream job. But yes, I do have the dream to do a new job everyday. Everyone always wants to be something and have a happy life while earning a livelihood from their passion and interest. Even If I end up in a dream job, life will still be monotonous. Even if you like music, you cant listen to music 24*7. Neither can you sing every second. If your lucky enough to land up in a dream job, your prone to take a break every once in a while. Since its a dream job, I dream to have a new job everyday. I think, the employment agencies will definitely reject my application :D . But nonetheless, I can live my dream in the dreams.

This post is an entry for a contest in Blogadda called MY DREAM JOB. This contest was an initiative by BLOGADDA and Pringoo .

Motherland…

2010-07-20T04:32:00.001+05:30

The smell of smouldering charcoal and hot black tea with fresh muffins in the main kitchen. The "Cocka-doodle-doo" of the rooster and the clucking of the hens in the backyard along with the snorting of the pigs fighting for their food. The barking of the huge German shepherd Dog in our compound and my grandmother shouting at her to stay away from the Holy Basil plant. This is my mother’s land “Kakching, Manipur”.

We have a pond in the backyard and a very well maintained kitchen garden. Its a huge pond used by many in locality but we have most of the access to it as its surrounded by tall Bamboo’s and I mostly used to sit on the dock and throw stones and watch the ripples on the water. It had small small fishes which were way too difficult to catch because they were swift and they were slimy :P . If me and my family went in the right season for the vacation. I could easily catch the pond snails. Those were some fun days. Me and my cousin used to play on the dock for hours and hours. We were always busy catching some or the other insect or snails or fishes. We mostly went during the Holi season and Holi is a huge festival of 5 days there. With the whole bonfires and dancing and feasts. The way kids go from one house to another for trick or treats during the Halloween. Similarly, the small kids of the locality would make groups and go to each house for candies and coins.

Its a circle of three or four houses around our compound. The main and the biggest belonging to my grandparents and the rest belonging to my uncles and aunts. The oldest house is the one where we stay during our visits. Its entirely made of mud and wood and the roof is of timber and tin. But the house is very strong with many rooms and a huge kitchen for the entire family. They don't have bathrooms in the main house. They built the bathrooms in a separate area outside the house and when there is no electricity, they use lantern to walk the entire path and go to loo.

Its never too warm or too cold there. The temperatures always perfect so even if there’s no electricity, all the houses used to glow with lanterns at nights. There is an entirely different taste of the food cooked on charcoal and its yummy. The lanterns mostly burn the whole night and believe me, those moments are beautiful. The nights are totally still and the burning fire creates a mesmerizing ambience. In cities, you end up seeing ten stars at a time or even less. But there, the sky is glorious, its like your standing under a tree of stars, and the moon is shining way too bright. It seems like your watching the whole galaxy. Everybody sleeps their by 8 or 9 pm and they have their dinner at 7 or 6 pm and the lovely mornings begin at 4 or 5 am. Its a different world all together.

Its a village which is actually a valley surrounded by mountains. My grandma has many paddy fields and on weekly basis she goes for monitoring the work being done. She’s way too old nearly 85 by now but she seems 65 and way too strong. May be because of the healthy environment she is so strong and still beautiful. Grandpa expired 4 years back, that was the last time I went for a visit. He died at the age of 94 and then there was my grandma’s mother who expired at the age of 104, yeah she made a big time century and passed way. One hell of strong lady who lived a lavish life.

According to mom, many things have changed there now. In four years, she said more houses have been built, the big shepherd died but her kids are there, the whole compounds rebuilt, etc… But still the memories remain the same. In every visit, new memories are created and kept intact. Its not my birth place. It is my mother’s birth place so its a part of me even.

I don't want to write about the bloodshed and the torture going on there. I want to remember the fond memories I have in my heart.

PS: Next Time I visit I will click the pictures and post them. Meanwhile, I am going to my Fatherland in a month for cousin’s marriage. So will write about dad’s place then. The big trouble, I have to wear a sari in marriage. Lord, help me. :O

Am a Carbon Copy!

2010-07-09T20:20:00.001+05:30

I am not original. I am in fact cloned even. I never write anything that is original. I have written so many poor joke’s, I even laugh on poor jokes. I have got a very bad sense of humour. If you go through my earlier posts, you must have noticed in most of the post I write in bullets or even a paragraph. The main reason: because I am a control freak, I like writing things in bullets, making them precise and high lighting them. I love the excitement involved in every new assignment or project. I love the crispiness of fresh paper and I love being the real me. I have openly given the details, because I don't believe in privacy when it comes to virtual world. You search someone who’s on any social network and you will end up having at least 5 or 6 detailed information about that person.

I love making fun of my own self. I love laughing at myself and mocking at my own faults. Please grow up, if you cant laugh at your own self. I am not a genius and I never will be a genius. I am normal and I always will be normal. I have no intentions of driving myself nuts to stand out from the crowd. I adore the simplicity of life. I love the humour involved in the daily actions of life. I don't need a highly intellectual joke to have a smile on my face. So who’s got a good PJ this time? :P

No idea, why I posted this, Just way too tired and busy with work and all.

PS: Better be a good joke! :P

Am On Invisible Mode!

2010-07-01T21:13:00.001+05:30

I swear on all Geeta, Seeta, Bible and Quran. That I will say the truth and nothing else, but the truth because I am not participating in any beauty pageant. If I have the power to be invisible, I wont ask for World Peace! This invisible concept is pretty close to my heart, since I do have a habit of vanishing once in a while and people who know me, they tolerate this habit of mine. All of us have the power to be invisible in the virtual world and yes, we sneak around a lot.

So before I start blabbering on, let me write down a list of 5 things which I will do, if I have the power to be invisible:

World Tour: No plane tickets needed, No cash needed, No Itinerary required. I will just hop on any plane without the unnecessary hurdles of check in and luggage and visa! I wont need that many clothes if I am invisible but yes, will definitely keep a pair of clothes in case of emergencies. Will roam around world, visit all the places and enter all the restricted areas of historical monuments and museums and I think, I may even go and watch and enjoy all the festivities and parades with exotic beauties on display, without any shame. I wont risk wild safari since animals have more sensitive powers than humans. I can enter into any restaurants and eat as much as I want without worrying about how I look. Seriously, my invisibility should not get affected by my weight. I have very long list of delicacies which I have to try for sure!

Parliament: I want to be in the parliament during a session in which shoes and sandals are flying. I will love to pull out some hair from the ears of Laloo Ji. I will like to steal all the nice sandals which are not being thrown. I will like to sit beside The Speaker and make funny noises in the microphone. I will like to pull the lungi’s of some of the minister’s before they end up doing that themselves. I will like to stand beside P. Chidambaram and imitate his serious style and Mona Lisa smile. I will like to play with the turban of Manmohan Ji and I want to drool over Rahul without his knowledge. Heck! I am invisible. Plus, I will like to sit beside Sonia Gandhi and whisper “Namaaste” in her ear.

The Hit List : I believe in doing good but since I am invisible, I will definitely go and sneak around in the lives of people who are on my hit list. I will like to know about their weaknesses, which I can use later on to protect myself. I don't believe in harming them but yeah, instead of cold water, I might change their glass and make them drink hot water. Or go and do tyre puncture of their cars and bikes on weekly basis. Or mix more water in their milk. What?? I am simply making the job of milkman easier! Silly things, but believe me they will give a lot of satisfaction to heart.
Banks : No matter how good one is. I know myself very well, and after being invisible I don't think my morals will stop me from just going into any random bank and picking up cash and sneak away.I wont need money to buy anything since I am invisible. I wont spend money now, but wait for the day this power diminishes. I will need the money to survive, so going with a long term plan according to various insurance advertisements. I am simply securing my future.

Image Courtesy : www.pringoo.com

The Gayab Mata!

Detective Agency : This will be a portrayal for normal life and normal occupation to live in the society. I cant be invisible 24*7. People are way too nosy including me. As a result, this will be an adventurous as well as a very interesting occupation for me. Even Spider Man was a reporter. So me Invisible Women! can be a private detective. Sounds cliché! but Life without drama is dull.

PS: I don't need to win this prize or anything. I am invisible! Yey! I can steal it from you! So I think I already have it in my invisible purse! *evil grin* Now let me vanish again. *poof* gone.

This post is an entry for a contest in Blogadda called BEING INVISIBLE. This contest was an initiative by BLOGADDA and Pringoo .

Why Doctor?? Why me?

2010-07-01T19:15:00.001+05:30

Family is full of Doctors. Be it Allopathic or Alternative Medicine and even Veterinary Doctors. But never learned to be a doctor from any one of them. Definitely played “Doctor and Patient’s game” million times. You need fake chits with random medicines, then please visit me.

Born and brought up in a hospital environment and lived in the hospital till the age of 10 or 11. Saw so many freaking diseases that sometimes I find those people weird, who are afraid of blood or mucus. I simply don't find anything disgusting in that. It’s a part of our body but if you like going “ewwwww” on everything, then surely your having a “ewww” disorder.

Being a doctor is never easy. Mostly, you need to have a good pair of ears to listen to horrifying or disgusting and even the most boring day to day stories of one patient after patient. I have seen almost every patient ask this question to either my mom or dad, “Why doctor?? Why me??”. The variety of patients in unlimited and every heart has its own story and somehow doctors end up listening to most of them:

Old: Health will deteriorate as your hair grows white. Even if you colour your hair, still your body is ageing and diseases are a bonus package. You cant avoid it. Everyone has to die and diseases are just a cause to explain your death.The old people are like toddlers. They will crib about each and every thing.They like eating sweets more. They will always complain about their son in laws or daughter in laws and adore their grandkids.They will mostly criticize today's generation on every point. Ekta Kapoor should be thankful to these people for her TRP’s. You will definitely find them way too cute, even with their broken teeth's and the wrinkles on their foreheads. They may not agree with all your non-sense but they will provide you their old age wisdom. No matter how many times you despise or mock at them for being old. Here’s a plain fact – They have lived life and they are still living where as your still taking your baby steps.
Middle Age: This is the stage where mostly the symptoms of all diseases start, but the busy schedule and the thirst of earning more money for yourself and your family tends to over power your health. Don't worry! you definitely do regret later on, but even you cant help it. That's the chakra of life. At this point of time, either you will be totally happy with family and your married life or either you will totally bored of it. Its a stagnant period where you end up thinking mostly about how the grass looks more greener on the other side. Your doctors will come to know about your daily schedules and how busy you always are. What a big deal you made just an hour back? How you will relentlessly argue with your doctor for hours and hours that your still young. You will stare at your medicines and think for a while that “Are these medicines dependent on you or you dependent on them?” and mostly its the latter, because you still wont have time to concentrate on your health.

Young: There’s a jest in life to achieve something.According to the world report, half of the young people are diabetic without even being obese. They will be rebellious 95% of the time but will be mourning and depressed rest of the time. Blaming every god damn person on this earth for things which went wrong in their life. They will be mostly defensive and will always try to outwit the doctor half of the times.The young population must have googled the word “depression” and even a death of fly could be reason for their sadness. Life will seem always hopeless. They will love darkness and mostly, for all of them their sufferings are the biggest one. Half will act as kids and half will act as grown ups. Psychiatrist are gods in this market.
Kids: Simply way too energetic lot but some children end up facing diseases at a very early age. The medical expenses are way too horrifying but somehow you just cant watch a small angel dying second by second. Life, no matter how worse it is. It is worth living. Kids are a joy in life as well as a pain in the ass. You cant help loving them but at the same time, you will feel like stuffing up their mouth with a sock so that they would stop crying. They will be scared of needles, blood and after every treatment they need a candy, which gives the Dentist’s a reason to smile. Its a wholesome marketing strategy. We sell medicines along with the diseases. We are ourselves responsible for half of the diseases.
Unborn: Those who are lucky, they die before entering into this world and the unlucky ones like us are stuck here just because of some foolish doctor who couldn't go wrong anywhere during the surgery. Even before your born this doctor has always been with you.
Previous Life: I have no idea what you were in previous life. Please, consult a psychiatric doctor if you think you need to know.

PS: Came to know that today is national doctors day! So a tribute to all doctors including my parents. Doctor’s aren't gods but since they have the knowledge to heal, they are treated as one. Respect the one’s who don't exploit this power.

Swim For Pleasure!

2010-06-25T15:12:00.001+05:30

With the temperature almost at its peak during the summer season most of us run towards the swimming pools, pond, lakes, rivers, seas and oceans (what so ever is convenient for you! ). In fact, even our long distant cousins like elephant and buffaloes enjoy the leisure of swimming. Many of us are fond of water, so here are some few points which will definitely make you dive in any chulu bhar paani you find:

Eye Pleasure : You should take a membership of a high profile club for the utmost pleasure under the conditions that your eyesight should be 6/6 because you cannot wear lenses while swimming. Swimming pool is a place where you can easily drool all over the Greeks gods and goddesses, plus point is that people wont notice that your drooling since there wont be any difference between water and your saliva. Please buy a dark shade of goggles so that you can stare without any hesitations. You did pay for the membership, so you do have a right to watch the flirtations and water romance going on between love fishes. You should never be ashamed to gawk at people with perfect bodies, since they themselves wear the most skimpiest costumes to show of their bodies. Lower the standards of pool, lower will be the eye – candy stock.
Nose Pleasure: You need to have strong nostrils because you will be bestowed with the aroma of chlorine on a regular basis. Apart from them your nose will get ample amount of pleasure from the latest shampoos and the deodorants in the changing rooms.As a result, you gain all the nosy knowledge regarding latest toiletries.Though once in a while, you will definitely come across different variety of smells like farts and stinking toilets. You cannot avoid that, you need to compromise a tad bit for the greater good.

Ears Pleasure: Its a place where people will never stop talking. Your ears might become over sensitive because of the water pressure. As a result, you will end up hearing more. For instance,a bunch of uncles talking about stock market. Few old men, talking about how a modular kitchen can be fixed in just four hours. Random teenagers talking about either some entrance exam or whining about their ex’s. Love fishes will be giggling, which will sound more like gargling. Every time your ears get alert of howling sounds, you don't need to worry, there isn't any tsunami happening in the pool, just a bunch of freaks showing their inborn stunts of diving like chimpanzee’s. If you go during the kid’s time, boy! You need to train you ears since your approaching a battle field. The coach will be throwing the cry baby's into the pool one by one by one. Suddenly you will be stuck with realization that, yes, India is very populated. In short, Your ears will be tired but very knowledgeable at the end of the day.
Tongue Pleasure: No, you don't need to go underwater and use your tongue to lick the floor. They do clean the pool regularly. But yes, you need to protect your tongue, but somehow this isn't possible at all. So you need to bear with it. You may be a very cautious person and would be very careful about what goes into your digestive system. But lets make it very clear, your tongue and your digestive system shall have the pleasure of chlorine, saliva's, dirt from the bodies of other people and in the end the worst possible scenario, urine. Now don't get shocked, its not as if you are having an alien shit. Its a pool. So the water pools in all human residues together. Will seem way better than swimming in the excreta of animals or industrial wastage.So, yes you can definitely add the people who pee in pools in your killing list but since you aren't a criminologist and you cant identify the DNA of every single darn person from such a large sample of water. So save your melodrama. Deal with it! Every pool has board with instruction. The ground rule is if your human, then please don't spit or piss.
Skin Pleasure: Now lets start getting down and dirty. To all the perverts, please behave in the pool. Yes, you can definitely ogle and drool but you cannot harass people in there. So no touchy touchy else you wont even have any pleasures above mentioned and you will be drowned to death by citizens in there.So behave. Now, coming to the other aspects related to skin. If you want to get tanned,swim during morning hours for first few weeks, the if you want to look totally fried then please continue the morning hours. Some people do have a fascination to look like tandoori chickens, so here is your opportunity.You wont need to pay the cosmetic company for getting tanned. In the evening hours, you wont get much tanned but in both the hours you need to take care of your skin and all the hair on it. You don't want to look like a stray dog with patches by the end of the season. So stop being a stingy and please, buy some skin lotions and be hygienic for once and take a proper bath after every swim.

Since you have been guided with all the pleasures your five sense can achieve in the swimming pool. You are prepared for the battle.

For god’s sake buy a proper swimming kit and a costume before entering the pool. Eye’s cant tolerate kacha’s and aunties with all due respect, many of us are fat so please don't feel ashamed and enter the pool with a proper costume. Spend a few bucks because you will feel fresh and it will be a good exercise plus the pleasures above.

PS: If you don't know how to swim, you need to learn fast because in the end the world will be submerged in water and you will be of no use underwater.

I am a Serial Killer Subconsciously!

2010-06-19T16:14:00.001+05:30

There has been many moments in my life when I actually felt like killing someone and the only thing which stopped me from doing so wasn't my family or the people I love. It was a simple fear of going to jail. I am not manipulative enough to commit the perfect murder and sneak away, so I do weigh all the options and risk factor involved before thinking of committing such an action.

A long list of whom to kill has definitely been prepared but having a desire to kill definitely doesn't mean that your a violent person. Or does it? :| But does it stop one from murdering in dreams? (I did study the whole process of how the dreams are to be interpreted and all that crap. When you have the dream, live it, enjoy the thrill and sweat like a pig! later on definitely you will wake up! So if you can live life. You can definitely live the dream in dream even!)

In my nightmares, I have definitely killed many villains but even a family member of mine does get killed by the rival side during the whole dream process. Frankly saying, I realised, I am very flexible in my dreams, must have got inspired by all the Bruce lees and other lee’s as well as our latest Jackie Chan combo Baba Ram Dev.

Have you ever seen a white worm? Now imagine that tiny white worm almost as big as the size of a baby elephant with mucus dripping wildly and sharp teeth's and a bloody tongue as sharp and stretchy as a frog’s ( I have a fascination for animals and flexibility! cant help it). That’s one single creature I saw thrice, yeah kind of had a dream with three episodes, was a weekly show as far as I remember. I am pretty good hunter even, in my dreams of course. You should definitely come and have a walk in the emporium I built and hung those beastly creatures.

Never been much of an athlete in ground but water for sure. I can definitely beat even P.T. Usha when it comes to running after the villains or being a chicken once in a while and running away from monsters. All scientist study so much! Can’t they built a mechanism in which body would react spontaneously according to the dream?? Would have burnt all my calories in dream sequence! By the way, I think a chicken costume will suit me very well but don't ask me to lay any eggs, please!

Might have inherited the dream ability from my mother. She used to fly on broomsticks even before the Harry Potter kid. She is more into Raja Maharaja kind of dreams where they fight with swords and Gola Barud! She even saw evil witches running behind her and how she has the ability to vanish in a second. Will have to bargain with her to inherit such talents. Thinking whether fresh vegetables and cutlery or gold will work.

PS: If I could actually fix the dreams which I see. Would have dreamed of simply lying on the beach with sun lotion of course! The over analytical doctors do say subconscious dreams have power to bring happiness and success. If that true, then catch you later, I am getting ready to dive in a pool filled with green dollars! Aah! Didn't I say I love the colour green :P.

My Chair Whines…!

2010-06-17T13:08:00.001+05:30

I am a Champion at STARING things. I can stare at the walls, fans, insects and sadly even humans! But staring doesn't mean that am actually thinking about the thing at which I am staring and in case of staring at humans, they never understand that. Why?! They are too self- obsessed to think I am staring at them because of their so- called Charisma. I stare because people are interesting, the way they act and react to the surroundings is very fascinating.( I am not participating in any freaky science project!) I am more like an observer. I simply watch…

This staring nature of mine somehow made me think about all the non – living things which surround us. You may call me mad! and I will shamefully grin but seriously I do talk to my gadgets, be it my laptop or pc or mobile. I do talk to the walls, to the chair, to practically anything that my imagination can work upon. Its more like injecting life within these things.

So I have actually listed a few things with whom I usually interact the most ( You may consider me nuts, but I have more fun with the nuts even! So I haven't gone bonkers yet! and when I do will surely telegram each one of you!) :

Chair : There’s a rocking chair, a plastic chair, a steel chair and perfect made- in-china chair. So the most interesting one among these, is the China chair. The bugger creaks and whines so loudly, if you have any doubts about your weight simply sit on it. They way it will keeps on whining around, you will get a clear picture of how your torturing the soulless creature.

Sofa : We got big big sofas. I know we are huge people who eat a lot, sleep a lot, sit a lot and even shit a lot! But these days the sofa is very cordial with me. I no longer torment it or have a grudge against it. It smiles at me since I am no longer responsible for creating a hole in it. Gladly, my cousin took that responsibility off my shoulders. With all due respect to all the brainless saas- bahu sagas, in which a women with hell lot of pancakes goes on manipulating and destructing every household because she is paid for doing that off the camera, has killed my relationship with the idiot box in a very tragic way. So these days, Sofa and I only wave at each other.

Television : This has been the best life partner I ever had. Simply, no tantrums and gets easily played by my fingers. What more could I ask for! But its no longer as interesting to me as it was earlier. You see the romance died, so sometimes we are back on and sometimes we are off. We have a mutual understanding of giving enough independent space. When I crave for thrill, mystery, murder, and a laugh. It fulfils all my desires. But our relationship is limited to few hours or few days, because during the rest of the time I am busy with others and it is busy fulfilling the desires of others in my family. We have a very open understanding and a plus point, it can be upgraded at any time. The old one goes politely and the new one comes with a sexy screen and the most dashing smile. They never fight and they never complain. I just love this idiot of mine!

Mirror : My mirror in the room, in bathroom but I have a new mirror in my life now, my gym mirror. We are still busy in getting on terms with each other. It shows me my good sides and even bad sides. It shows me my fat ass and huge thighs but also provides me solace by making me see people whose asses are far huge than mine. So we go along pretty well. It helps me to enjoy the view of beautiful beautiful creatures by providing a sneaky view. But boy its way too moody, It doesn't agree with me when I eat a lot or wear baggy clothes. It clearly explains me the reasons why I person should look presentable. Our moods are very telepathic with each other. If I am happy, its also happy and when I am cranky its also cranky.

Mobile : A small friend of mine. Keeps changing yearly according to trend. Easily fits in anywhere and most probably a friend who accompanies me practically everywhere I can possibly imagine of. Even you would agree, I know you guys are very shy but in reality, even you don't leave this friend of yours anywhere and it even accompanies you to the loo. It gives you a morale booster during the most boring phases of a day. It provides me with assurance that no matter how much of a big looser I become in my life, it will be always there for me even if no one is. It will never leave your side and It even makes you learn an additional skill of using your fingers tactfully in an amazing speed. A very useful point which I can add in my resume to get employed. This friend of ours have a another little friend called “the sim”. They are soul partners and cannot work without each other. You might get envious of their bonding. But chill, you cant have a relationship with every object you lay eyes upon. Some objects are better off as friends only.

Newspaper : A friend in need is a friend indeed. It makes me act more knowledgeable human being by providing with latest updates of life. Though I do tear it apart every once in a while for cleaning all kinds of dirty stuff be it floor or table or tiles or windows. Let’s not think about bathroom in this case. It makes me happy with happy news and makes me depressed and sad with bad news. With the crime rates at its peak, its more like a journal of murders, burglaries, rapes and tournament of smacking shoes in case of politics. But even then its a voice, which is a bolder voice if its supported by its distant cousin called “money”. Its colourful and vibrant with a touch of glamour if your more into page 3 types. Its a portal in which everyone's using the pen as swords to cut each others throat. So to sum it up, it’s a very dramatically interesting newspaper.

Walls : I have very colourful walls in my home. I have fresh lime green, fuchsia pink, aqua blue, lavender, orange, cream and light brown even. Let’s say I like colours in my life. My rooms green and it soothes me. Its a constant reminder to me that no matter what happens, I have to keep myself calm and peaceful. Walls actually do cry sometimes when they end up leaking because of fault in the pipelines and no matter how many times you tell the small chubby mouse like aunty living above to get it renovated, it never works and the wall suffers. It does get dirty within years because of dust or some random noisy kid smudging the wall with his dirty hands or by the blood of mosquitoes which is technically your blood…suckers!. Walls are like a witness of history.It has a pretty decorative nature, some like it plain and simple and some bestow it with so many hefty wall hangings and ornaments that it can even beat a dressed up bride. You see too much of make up and heavy ornaments becomes suffocating. But still it doesn't complain and bears it all. Stands tall and strong always, even generations after generations. Do respect the wall because most probably if your kids don't turn out to be a moron like you are, then there’s a very high probability of your photo being hanged on that wall decades later! (not meant for those who are fond of early deaths you will get a photo stand only!)

There innumerable things I can come up with. But for now my laptop complains and my clock tells me to stop lazing and to get ready for work. I have to listen to these things since they make my life more special for me … :) …

PS : I am not sorry for wasting your time! :P But do have a talk with the chair your sitting on! :)

Puppy Love Woofed Away My Shoe!

2010-06-13T17:36:00.001+05:30

My First Crush is Not Priceless. It’s almost equivalent to the price of a pair of White Sports SHOES!

I have always been a tomboy since my toddler days and I have had a guy hairdo till my 11th standard as a result I was practically considered like a guy by almost everyone (including me!). As a result, my pair of SHOES did matter a LOT to me!

Despite being a tomboy, I was very well aware of the concepts of The Birds, The Bees and The Butterflies at that time! So yeah, even I had the opportunity of actually having a crush on “the guy”. Let’s Keep his identity a bit mysterious. (Frankly, I don't want to make a fool of himself or myself more importantly!)

Firstly, let me make something's clear I was always very serious, studious, acted like a guy, talked like a guy and lived like a guy. In fact, I could have been “the guy” myself, since we Women do know what we actually want in Men. So the picture was like this, since I was considered as one of the guy’s during the whole term of my school life. (Sounds more like a jail term!) But in reality, I never had any opportunity to participate in the tomfoolery involved for romanticising guys at that age. Practically, the thought never had enough charisma to bring out the girl inside me!

So “the guy” on whom I had the crush was a classmate of mine. The intellectual types who looked more like the arty types at that point of time. I do confess that people with brains seem more charming to me at least since Looks have never been a factor in my dictionary of life! So “the guy” was cute, charming in a nerdy way (Without any braces!), simple and mediocre. We never actually talked or interacted because me being a tomboy that would have been out of my character! ( and no, I was not being paid to play the character! In simple terms, I chickened out always!). We were never even in the same friend’s circle. Exchanged two or three looks or sometimes two or three syllables. Apart from that we had to participate in some social curricular activity every week and I always chose music because I don't have dancing feet and neither do I have swaying hips to dance so I am sucker at Dancing!

The butterflies used to flutter in my big tummy (yeah! I was Fat at that time as well!) by remembering little moments of exchange of BIG sentences like “How much did you score in this test?” .. “Ok! You are taking that tuition”.. etc. I know, I sound the least romantic person but hell give me some break! Yeah, so we used to take the music classes together and it was rule to remove our shoes outside the Music Room. One random day! when we finished our class, all of us came out and guess what! I was not able to find my shoes!. I looked everywhere and even my friends looked everywhere. One or two boys started sniggering and boy, If looks could kill they would have had rotten in hell till this day! So I was standing there all alone in the middle of the crowd in the lobby! It was totally an epic scene.Suddenly out of no where “the guy” comes and clutches my fingers for few moments and then passes by. Ok! That was another epic moment! and just imagine my thought process instead of figuring out that it was “the guy”, I directly looked at his shoes…. and I saw him going away wearing my pair of SHOES!

Heck! my fiery temper was back on full mode then. Later on, I found a very dirty pair of shoe lying on the opposite end of the lobby, which I figured out was most probably his. Call me a feminist or what so ever, but my rage and my integrity didn't allow me to wear those shoes and I went back home bare foot! So from that day on, I always doubted him and gave him cold shoulder. And the puppy love along with the “the guy” and “the shoe” was lost forever.

So my puppy was a bad puppy! But still it was fun! When I think of it now, It brings a darn goofy smile on my face. Crushes are supposed to be that way! and Life is supposed to be ticklish all the way.. :)

PS: No Clue! about “the guy”. (Secret: I do know he’s 3 inches shorter than me in HEIGHT! Muhahahahaha! I am taller than him now! So who wants to party!) :P

This post is an entry for a contest in Blogadda called MY FIRST CRUSH. This contest was an initiative by BLOGADDA and Pringoo .

LET’S BE A SADHU!

2010-06-05T17:24:00.001+05:30

Hari Om Tat Sat! BABA JHINGALALA ke DWAAR mein AAP ooOOlaLA “NAHI” kar sakte!
We come across lots of Baba’s of all types. Even this profession has been totally commercialized and yes, its a very suitable profession which can fulfil all your desires with the big bucks you earn. Guru Dev’s of all kinds will be found in this fish market. (and Yes, even the vegetarian ones will be found).
The thing which I have been noticing since many years is that every single person on this earth must have thought at least once about being a hermit. Every drunkard must have thought while being drunk that there is no point in living and getting his ass kicked in this world… n One bewda will say to the other bewda “ Boss! Is life mein kuch nayi rakha Chal Sanyas le lete hain!” and even the ones who neither drink nor smoke (Like Me!) do wonder about this stuff. IF you say you have never wondered, heck your wondering now by reading this post!…
We enjoy mocking at the thought of us being saints! But if we actually sit and ponder then we will realise that none of us have the sincerity to be a monk! Even then there are some lucrative points which can be fully relished on after being a SADHU!

No hairy problems : You can grow hair on any part of your body. You don't need to wax or shave or go through any such painful process. You can shamelessly roam around showing your smelly armpits and if your a junglee baba then even the word “hygiene” can be removed from your dictionary. You can harvest a whole family of lice's on your fiery head. You will never have to worry about any deodorant or perfume, you can gladly make your bhakts smell your natural body aroma. You can grow as long beard as you wish. The more longer it is the more better it will be to make your bhakts believe in your years of Sadhana (no pun intended). No, offence to the hair less and takla baba’s. You can be a baba without hairs as well. Your forehead needs to sparkle even more than a disco ball. Your followers will consider that as your third eye and will think of you as a medium to God. Just learn some magic tricks and hide stuff in all your hairy places. For those who don't have hair, you wont have the freedom to show of your body so wear more clothes, you need these clothes to hide stuff for your tricks. Hairy baba’s can appear more during summers and hairless baba’s can appear more during winters. Even followers need variety you see, they will get bored of one baba very soon, so keep appearing seasonally.

No education required: Heck! education no longer counts these days, if you have failed in everything you ever did in your life be a Baba. You just need to know how to talk the philosophical jargon for hours and hours. You will even end up attracting NRI clients even. People are very depressed these days. All they need is someone to constantly tell them about the spirituality of life and happiness,so you just have to talk uselessly and rest leave it on them. They will fund you, provide you with all the facilities, you will never ever have to worry about any of your needs from then on. See, you will even have firangs in your surrounding to create a beautiful ambience. If your really really ugly looking then firangs are a must. You must wave at your followers like Deepika Padukone did in OM SHANTI OM ( see even that movie had a spiritual name, so learn something from it!). For doing business globally you need to be a sophisticated baba. If you don't have marketing skills, then find the followers who are and patch a deal with them, grow your empire. You be the face for the public and let them be the brains behind your success.
No talent required : Baba’s are not expected to be very talented. You need to know how the lunacy aspect works in this profession. Learn to twist your body in every angle,no better example than Baba Ram Dev for this. (No offence, but I don't give a shit about him). Else sit under a tree for years, you will be a “tree baba”. If you always felt the need to expose, be a “Naked Baba”. Else break your teeth and be a “Teeth broke baba”.You need to have some form of insanity within you or if your plain normal then start being abnormal. Your insanity will be considered as a spiritual guidance given by almighty lords.
All Carnal Desires fulfilled: You will have a lavish palace to live (even though in public you have to say you sleep on the floor) but they don't need to know the truth always. lying is an art, you need to learn that in this line.You can eat whatever you want but not in the eye of public. But no you cannot sleep with whom so ever you want. See here comes the glitch. You don't want bad publicity and you don't want to go to jail and do baba giri there, unnecessary expense of lawyers and a severe damage to your image. So if you need to be a baba forget about all Indians. They are your brothers and sisters. You cannot sow your spiritual oats in this country. For that the outside world has ample meat. Go out there, have a long vacation every once in a while and have all the pleasures there. Else the media will crucify you and fry your balls with a smirk on their faces. Small sacrifices have to be made in every profession so accept it and move on. Learn from the mistakes of all the previous baba’s like Swami Nithyananda. Ghar ki Murgi is daal barabar so go outside and have fun. Even Gandhi had brain’s to have affairs quietly so even you should utilize the stuff lying dead in your skull.
Power, Money and Respect: You will have all the power on your followers, you will tell them to eat shit and they will gladly eat shit. You can empty their pockets as much as you want. And since they no longer respect themselves they will give all respect to you. Its a profession which has quite an amazing power over the masses. So be manipulative and utilize this power. You need to be evil to know what is good. So be the GOD for them.
Fame: Every darn media channel will follow you. If you did achieve to maintain your image for quite a few years. you can even open your own personnel channel and publicize your name all across the world. Go with a long term plan. You did fail in everything else. So use a strategic approach in this one at least. All the reporters will hang on each and every word of yours like bees to a hive. You can proudly tell your parents that “ Apke Bache Ka Naam Puri Duniyan MEin Roshan Hogaya”. Mama and Papa will be so proud of you and even all your relatives will give your “misaal” to your other loser cousins. But please keep your Ex’s away. Even they will harp on this publicity so pay them money quietly and tell them to stay away. After all you do have power and you live in a democratic country and you can easily destroy anyone since you have the money.

In the end, no offence to any baba’s or any other people I mentioned (as if I care) but do have your insanity intact and you will definitely succeed.
PS: This is the result of over reading of some spiritual jargon. Work related. :|

Classic Questions People Ask a Mixed Breed!

2010-06-04T18:03:00.001+05:30

There's hardly any difference between humans and animals now so Yes, I can proudly call myself a mixed breed. For those who don't understand – We are brought into this world by mating of a man and a woman of two different states and two different cultures. Also possible in case of same sex because they end up adopting.You will find millions of us loitering around in every nook and corner of the society. So no we are NOT so interesting.

Wherever I go after getting one look at my NAIR name . people definitely ask me this question “ Are you a Mallu ? “ No offence to them, humans are inquisitive by nature so its their social obligation to ask such random questions. BUT I always wish I had a tape recorder with me so that I don't have to repeat the same story again and again. Since I haven't lost my mind yet and frankly saying i haven't got the balls yet to do such a thing SO I HAVENT tattooed on my head yet “AM A CULTURAL MIXED BREED” and NO, I don't have enough space on my face to print such a thing. I am a combo of mallu and manipuri.
There will be many out there like me who have to go through many such lame questions… so after being asked for the millionth time the same questions I thought of writing a post about them.
So here’s a list of random questions people come up with :

“Interesting, so have you visited your parents native places?” : We are not living an early man life. There are buses, trains, flights and we know how to buy a ticket and not living in another part of the world,we are living in the same country. We can talk normally and can use a cell phone and contact our relatives.
“Do you know both the languages?” : Many of us do understand, some of us even speak fluently. But in my case sorry to say, I had very limited means to get in touch of my roots and couldn't give exam of both the languages. Parents are working, cousins drop by once in a while. Yes, I do know the curses of both languages… that's the most easiest thing to learn.
“Which language do you speak at home?” : I speak gibberish. I blabber a lot. I go gaga and roam around in the house doing babababibibibubububebebebe. I can type in English right? I hope i am writing right? :| or am I just playing with the keys on the keyboard. If I can write why cant I speak in that. and yes, both my parents are also very fluent in both Hindi and English. We mostly talk very sweetly in Hindi and argue in English.
“What Food do you eat at home?” : I readily agree that we guys are very fortunate of getting a lot of exposure in cultural matters. and yes. I have tried many delicacies and I enjoy them even. But don't ask us as if we go to fields and eat grass. Ah, your a mallu … you must have eaten sambaar and dosa and vada and idli. It must be cooked regularly at your home. Just because me being a nair, my home should always smell of sambaar or what?????!!! We eat all types of food and mostly its north Indian. And just because my mom’s manipuri that doesn't mean that I have even eaten eels and octopuses. Yes, Manipur is a part of India. Even if you end up thinking of them as Chinese or Japanese and mock at them by calling them chinki .. they have more guts than you will ever have in your life. SO GROW UP!
“Did your parents have a love marriage? OOooo How interesting??!!” : Sorry to say i wasn't conceived during the time when they met so cant give the actual details of how they met and at what time they met and how they started their romance… so am very sorry for not being able to provide you with intricate details of their courtship. But you can totally swoon and go OOooO ..AhhhHH .. by imagining their romance in your head. I don't have any interest in doing that. They had the sperm and the egg, I was born and that much knowledge is enough for me.
“How do you interact with your relatives?” hello! we are living in 21st century… which is full of opportunities and my relative don't belong to some forest tribes. They do know how to have conversation in Hindi and English. Education can do wonders you see… so go and be an educated person!
“Which place do you like the best?” I have enough issues already in my life. Now you want me to actually answer that question and create differences between me and my parents and ask me to choose one of their native place. So MEAN of you! I didn't ruin your life so don't ruin mine by asking such lame questions.
“Hmm.. you got fair complexion. Is your mom very fair?” No offence, but I am not here as a brand ambassador of any fair and lovely cream. How in the hell does it matter … My complexion doesn't define me. If i was having dark complexion you would have said that I ended up having my dad’s genes more. Get a life! stop being discriminating people on the basis of colour, caste and creed and FUCK all religions! If you have green blood then come and have a talk with me!
The list is endless.. they end up asking ok in which god do you believe and do you celebrate Onam ? You will be having so many festivities at your place: Yeah right! my house shines like a Christmas tree through out the year. The list goes on and on.

As the years passed by I realised that there is no point in actually making people understand. Why to waste my time? Lets face the music for once.. we live in a country with so much diversity and one can hardly classify everyone by just looking at them. We all belong to a certain community and a certain culture and a certain religion but if your just going to stick to these facts and not know the person for his/her qualities then go and die in deep shit. Being real matters more, respecting people for who they are matters more then what they are. You cannot make a judgement about some one just on the basis of their status or class or culture or religion. Yes, we do make jokes and we enjoy light humour for sure but on a serious note : Don't fucking judge others .Have the strength to accept people as they are.
On a lighter note, I guess I will even end up explaining my grand children on how I belong to a mixed culture. So all of us are very nosy and we like to poke each other once in a while and crack jokes about it!
In the end, I am an INDIAN and most importantly am a HUMAN.

Little excerpts of my thoughts.. :)

2010-05-09T22:35:00.001+05:30

Just writing in… without any main topic… well when did i ever stick to any topic eh?!? :P

Have Been twittering like crazy for the past 5 days.. finally decided. I need a break. :P. The one thing which i mostly noticed on twitter is that people try too hard to act smart, witty, humorous, bitchy, slapstick or moronic. :P Sometimes it just seems like a fight to get noticed. Some try too hard and some don't bother at all. I don't understand that why is it so hard to be your own plain,simple self.I don't know whether I am right or wrong?! but it just seems like another rat race… and even if your timeline’s twittering on and on… you get the same feeling of being alone in a crowd… *weird* but it happens. :P Now days there’s hardly any difference between reality and twitter world. Seems more like an sms facility via gprs … arrange party’s and meeting’s in here. Meet new people… know about new stuff. Under the condition that you are a genuine person and you have a genuine profile and you aren’t fake.

It isn't as free as it seems to be…. but yes twitter is fun! New people and more knowledge…….

My cousin’s gone to another relatives place. So I have my room for myself yey! She came to stay with us for an year for her engineering entrance coaching. Even though its hard to share your own room with someone. I am surely going to miss her because she is damn good listener :P.
The DELL sign on the front of my laptop is sad. because its E got handicapped. No clue how it happened??!!?? May be the result of my cousins fidgety fingers and her nails :P . hehehe. but seriously no idea how it happened. *sob* *sob*

I am still having many doubts and many contradictory issues in my head but its life. Will have a few laughs and get over them.
My brother came in my room yesterday to ask for a favour. I had to sign his tuition test papers and since he didn't score well in last test. :P Happens to all! but seriously the way our society still clings to marks …. i don't think marks are important as long as the child grows up to be a good human being. We don't need materialistic things as much as we think we need. An assurance that your still loved by your loved ones no matter what situation you face in your life is enough! :)
The sooner i get over with exams… the better it will be. Else hell my mood swings are getting worse. :P
Not even in a writing mood. but dunno why i am writing or what i am writing. but heck! i am jus writing.
I need some fresh air… :D. so just ending it here.

Love to Guilt to Hate to Peace….. Freedom!

2010-05-01T02:24:00.001+05:30

Haven't written for a while .. to be precise a month i think. Well, there has been many reasons as such…

The first reason was to gain my mental stability.. i can precisely sum up this month i.e. April 2010.. as one of the worst months of my life. I am not here to moan about my silly loss or make excuses for the mistakes i did. Because i don't want pity or sympathy or even empathy. I needed peace… and I got it now. :)
Life is full of excuses. When we do mistake we feel guilty and we somehow end up making excuses for even the slightest mistakes we ever do. I really don't understand why is it so hard to accept your mistakes and have guts to face them. Rather than running away… because running away has never helped anyone.. and the things will haunt you forever no matter how hard you try to divert your mind. I can really say that from all the personal experiences of mine, my friends and my family … running away has never helped. Its better to live the pain and get over it. Its better to face the reality and support the truth rather than living a fake life with lies.
Many times even after knowing what's right and wrong… we still commit mistakes because who doesn't want to make life perfect and make it the way we dreamed about it… even if its whole existence is based on fabrication of lies. Fantasy is pleasant to live in… reality isn't. Since I am also not perfect in many ways. Life is about how to deal with your fears and how to stand up to the challenges in life, you cannot point your fingers at some lame person and say “ok, that person is responsible for my pain and my failures”. You need to stand up and take responsibilities for your own actions. Nothing happens without a reason… If you did what was right and you did it for good then stop feeling guilty and blaming yourself for things you didn't do. It isn't your fault that the other person wasn't having balls enough to face the challenges. I wont say that only the other person is wrong… what i mean is mistakes happen.. and as long as you accept those mistakes things will be easier for you… else one day you will definitely face your demons… because no matter how life proceeds… at some point of time you will be judged according to your actions and at that point of time you cant run away from your mistakes and fears.
Never do any sort of sacrifices unless your sure that you have the capability to go through them. Be it the bond you share with your mom and dad or your loved one or your friends. Never ever sacrifice unless your sure of it. Relationships and bonds need compromises for sure. But you cannot blame them for the sacrifices you did. They were your own decisions and if you yourself have had doubts in the first place then you have no right to blame them for you own pain and loss. We compromise about small stuffs in order to maintain a harmony in our bonds but the people who love you in reality will never want you to kill your own happiness and make sacrifices for them. So compromises up to a certain level are accepted but sacrifices should not be done ever because you will always live with regret, pain and guilt. Never ever sacrifice your own individuality for someone else… be it your parents or be it your boyfriend or husband or friends. The most important thing is to remain true to yourself and so that you can look up in the mirror and say confidently to yourself that you love yourself. You have no guilt and no regrets and you have admitted your mistakes and apologised rightfully to the ones you love.

The act of being emotionless and hiding your pain and anger is all non sense. If your so willing to hurt yourself then go and hurt yourself. You yourself don't want happiness and help from others and then how do you think you will get peace in your life. Avoiding things never worked and never will. If things aren't working and you gave your best shot and did everything you had to do and still it isn't working then better chuck it away and move on and live peacefully. We talk with people and bond with people to kill our own loneliness, to get assurance from others that your still accepted by them in this world. Never blame yourself unnecessarily and don't feel guilty on silly things. People do get hurt… its a human nature… we ought to feel love, happiness, sorrow… if we act the act of being heartless and emotionless… your betraying your own self. But never let your emotions get carried away. Don't use your emotions to gain attention and sympathy from others. Don't loose your own self respect in the eyes of others. You have your own self respect to deal with and sometimes you do let your guards down for your loved ones and that is necessary at times but not always. There should be a balance between emotions and practicality but such a feat is hard for humans to achieve. All of us perceive a situation in million different ways.Some just go and hide in their shells. Some come out and shine as they never did. Some remain unaffected and etc etc.

Just give a break to yourself once in a while after all your human… you have to be emotional. Everyone has their own insecurities and they deal with it through out their lives. We live in the hope of being accepted by others. Even in silence and peace. we hope for finding happiness and contentment. We are always concerned about the fact of hurting others, offending others, disturbing others. Just stop thinking and give yourself a break. Every single person in this world lives and deals with such insecurities. Its life… people bond and people break the bond. They grow up and fall and again live up… that's the circle of life. The best thing about us is that all of us are different. We have so much diversity in our thoughts. We deal with things differently. We complicate and uncomplicate things our own way. So if your having a nature of comparing yourself with others, then just stop right there and stop blaming yourself. You have your own life to live and live it truthfully with an open heart and open mind to deal with the toughest situations. Never hesitate to ask for help from others, when you need help ask for it. No need to hesitate for anything.
We have to be independent as well dependent in our life. You cannot do everything in your life yourself, its not a crime to just ask for help from others. God hasn't send you with the sole purpose of doing betterment for others in your life. You have to care for your own happiness as well. There's nothing wrong in being self less but at times being selfish is necessary. Even in this aspect the balance is necessary. There are times in which you need to be alone to think about yourself and about whatever you wish to think of. There's no need to talk or communicate with anyone at that time and you just need to be yourself and alone. But there are times in which you need to have company, you need to laugh out on silly jokes with your loved ones. No ones ever asked you to be a loner in your life. So don't be ashamed of yourself of needing someone to talk to.
We know everything. Whatever i wrote all of us very well aware of all these things. But including me, we never apply because no ones perfect. But I can face my mirror now and not regret my mistakes and actions. I no longer need to justify myself because what happened has happened and i have remained true to my heart and soul. So I am at peace. :) I know something or the other difficulty always comes up in life.I hope I have a long life to live because even if its bitter at times… its sweet as well and there are millions of people out there to meet and millions of places to visit. As I always say… Happiness and sadness comes and goes… Depends how you deal with it. I may have many hurdles and troubles ahead of me. I may even break down and cry my heart out but I know I will heal. We do heal as long as we are truthful to ourselves. It doesn't matter the way your life turned out to be as long as you have been true to yourself and as long as you can face yourself in the mirror no matter how odd you look in it. :P . :)

Loneliness. Secrets. Whispers. Shhhh…

2010-04-02T03:52:00.001+05:30

Loneliness is unquestionably the most used word by any person who is sad or who’s having a so called wisdom in the field of philosophy and considers loneliness as utter bliss. Many times in our lives we have a feeling inside our stomach or heart (whichever works for you :P ) of emptiness. Even in a crowd many of us feel alone. We end up thinking that hardly anyone knows us. Everyone's busy in there own world. Everyone’s enjoying and laughing and living life to the fullest. What I noticed till now in my life is that even the happiest person in this world ends up feeling lonely once in a while.

Life is never complete without a past without a secret or without loneliness. Every single person feels he or she is different since they have an upper hand knowledge of having felt loneliness. Everyone ends up thinking that their own secret is the worst one. Their own pain is the most hurting one. Their own troubles are the most biggest ones. Its a human nature to assume the worst. Even those who seem to have a carefree life do have secrets. Every fake laugh has a sad story behind it.

We are humans after all. We adapt to our surroundings. We adjust according to people or make them adjust according to us, depends on your dominating or submissive nature. To the thinkers and philosopher’s silence and loneliness is like a sweet melody but painful. Even though they try to relish it with their big words and analyse it through the twisted angle of their visions, I myself don't think they will ever feel true Happiness. Happiness and Pain are like two soul sisters. You cant have one alone. If one comes then the other is shortly behind it. Simply, inseparable and I know that's irritating. Its one way of God making sure that he isn't forgotten by us.

People need to talk. They need to feel. They need to touch, smell, see and hear the voices of everything in nature. I don't know who quoted this line, but someone said that we are ourselves responsible for our loneliness. That is true somehow, we ourselves assume wrong, make the situation even worse by simply avoiding any communication.

I am a very talkative person myself and for me the best solution for all problems between people is to talk it out. ( not that kind of problems in which the other person is a scumbag or an idiot).

But there's nothing more easier than just having open and honest discussion. We should overcome every fear and just sail through life without any doubts. At the end of life, I don't want to lie down on my death bed and think that I owe this person an explanation or I owe that person an apology. I myself, may be of a small age to talk about all these, but I have seen so many people who think there’s is the biggest tragedy.

No ones perfect. Everybody can feel sad, lonely, and happy. Emotions rule us. To those who think they are emotionless here's a thought to consider… For being emotionless, you act defensive. You act careless and develop an attitude of how you don't give a shit about anything! Bravo to you! Since your the one who has having the highest level of emotions to show anger, to show disgust and to hide your feelings inside for so long is a Hercules task! Because every bubble bursts in a while!

No relationship in this world can work without compromise and sacrifice. Its the hard and fast rule of this universe. Simple, give and take policy. I am not saying that you have to make everything workout. Sometimes something are better to be left untouched or unharmed. Some relationships have to be broken if they are unbalanced. Being a human, we look for harmony in every prospect of our life.

Things may or may not work out for you. You might be lonely and utterly broken. You might have faced the biggest tragedy. But its not the end of your life. Life never ends. It depends on you, whether your willing to hurt yourself more and more or whether you ready to join your hands and welcome both happiness and sorrow in your life with an undying hope in your heart.

I need… I want… I feel…..

2010-03-30T16:32:00.001+05:30

It may be WHATEVER you like and want.

We keep on going through the same boring routine of every day of our lives ( I am talking about those who actually work, not the looser like us who just act like pigs and loiter around the whole day). As a result, We end up ignoring the small tiny winy things which give us joy. ( A dialogue repeated by all philosophical people. :P )

The first thing which everyone replies including me that its easier to say rather than doing. I am not writing in here to give any motivation neither did I had any inspirational breakthrough!! I am just explaining the things which I observe.

And some of my friends did read this blog which is pretty unnerving and they did tick on the checkboxes :P . Wanted to ask just one thing for these people…. Had a hearty laugh didn't ya ?? :P .

Any ways was on twitter,and I come across so many people in there with some cheesy lines in their pockets which they never bother to change… What do they expect then :P … a warm welcome or simple ignorance…..

We ignore people whom we don't like.. sometimes we ignore things which we don't like… Ignorance is an easy way out of everything. Truth hurts … yes it does. Confrontations hurt. We get nervous and horrified over such petty issues which can be sorted out in a flick. But the thing which makes all these difficult are Emotions. We are not human if we don't feel, if we don't sympathize or empathize or care.

Sometimes even I get confused on how to tackle a situation whether to just blurt and don't care about others feelings because you know what your saying is right. Or just shut up and go on sympathizing and keep ob building hope in their lives and keep on repeating the same word its ok.. its ok. Seriously the OK word needs to be branded! ( :P then we got to pay royalty! I know its a pj! but come on i cant always be funny!).

From my past experiences I have learnt, its safer for you and the other person as well to remain truthful in your thoughts and action. The more you ignore the more things getting messier. Plus remember one major important thing. Never Ever Keep Your Mind Empty. Always be involved in something or the other. Do work, exercise, eat, jog, Watch TV, study. listen to music, do anything else but don't let your mind wander off to some lonely place with lonely thoughts. That's how people end up thinking negative. That's how depression starts and that's how slowly and gradually it lurks in and takes hold of you.

We are humans, we tend to have unlimited wishes which can never be fulfilled in a life time. ( That indicates your normal but if your a philosopher or queer.. you may have less wishes.) We always need or want or feel infinite things in a second. Don't go on brooding about whether they were fulfilled or not. Because your the one responsible for your own actions and your the one who has the capability to fulfil the wishes.

Happiness isn't a very difficult term to understand. It isn't something which can be attained forever even and its definitely not hard to have even. It depends upon how you perceive your life. How you judge things and how often you let those things effect you be it in a positive or a negative manner.

Remember the smell of the fresh grass with dew drops in winter mornings. The smell of wet mud during rains. The crispiness of fresh bed sheet. The long windy drive in car with fresh air and NO traffic. The moment when you were watching the sunset from a private beach ( :P no disturbance there right?). The utter bliss you felt when your loved ones gave you a warm hug. There are moments in for everyone where everything seems perfect, still and content.

I know in this blog I am way off and on the topic. But sometimes its better to be not so concise and precise and to just be spontaneous and random. I always feel and even say that Life’s this and Life’s that but as the year goes by, it develops into a different meaning every time ( May be I am myself in a philosophical mood) :P

Cranky! Hanky! Panky!

2010-03-26T17:07:00.001+05:30

Cant stop feeling cranky! Since I woke up. :P . I have my exams coming up from 9th April till 22nd May. I know, bloody one and half month duration! and lots of break in between! the more breaks they give, the more we feel like not studying at all! Don't know, What the Delhi University authorities think of themselves! Are we brainless or are they suffering from delusions of their so called intelligence!

Right now! Mariah Carey’s – I want to know what love is – is playing in the background! Just love her voice! So playing some songs which can soothe my mind.

From today onwards I have decided to keep a track of my weight! and try loosing some! ( Yeah, Yeah I decide and plan a lot!! :D). So lets see what happens. I am not too optimistic since the past experiences in this subject has been way too dramatic!

I tried fruit and boiled vegetable diet but when i switched back to my normal diet gained double. (and that's way too depressing!! ).
I tried gym and i still like to do workout but the first gym instructor I had, he tried to get hanky panky with me. Because of which my temper rose and I bashed up the guy and left that gym. ( My own loss! I gained the weight back again!). And this incident further signifies that Men Are Dogs!!
I still joined another gym but couldn't be regular because my Exams approached and I ended up getting severe cramps on the right side of my stomach ( Cause: Muscle strain).So I was on bed rest. (Munching away food like a pig! snort! snort!).
I tried yoga and meditation and massages! and that takes a lot of patience and time! it gradually and slowly reduces at a snail pace whereas I prefer a workout in which I can actually sweat! So decided to do yoga for maintenance but for losing have to workout.
End result, You must have decided by now that I am pretty good in making up excuses! .. but what to do? There’s some or the other excuse for everything in life! and this time I hope I have no excuses! Be it food, Be it exams or Be it dogs(men). Nothing should stop me. ( Sounds as if I am going to battle! ). But yeah it is a battle between me, my body and my habits.

Habits are pretty hard to change. Like the habit I have of blurting out something which I end up regretting later. ( Sometimes after many years i realise!) and moreover I realise when people tell me! and I am like woopsie daisies!! did i do that! did i say that?

Happens with many of us! but usually happens more with me! ( may be I am exaggerating, but it does happen a lot!). So summers are here now! as soon as my exams are over. Will join the gym and join swimming as well! Till the long brisk walks, me and my iPod with some groovy pop and country songs.

Hmm, a bit surprised to hear Swimming! Am Fat ok. I may be the Fattest even! but I just love to swim. I started swimming when i wasn't even fat. I was one of the best swimmers of my batch even the coaches wanted to make me enter in school competitions and zone competitions. But me and my hard luck! my studies got in between. My teachers and my parents didn't approve! Somehow the ability of scoring well crushed all other things. But its a fact, Fat floats so even the Fat people Float very easily :)!

I can do all styles. not expert in butterfly but i can do it and its bloody awesome exercise which I love!!! and just love the feeling of underwater. The way everything seems foggy under the water (effect of chlorine and my bad eye sight!! :P ) its amazing. So I hope I do get to enjoy water after my exams. If possible will join in between my exams if there’s lots of free time at hand which I can utilize in loosing some pounds!

Now I don’t feel too much cranky. The freedom of speech and typing in blog diverts mind to various aspects as a result, the frustration and anger calms down and the optimism lurks in. HAPPY HAPPY AGAIN!

Back to books again! Will Pop in if something else catches my interest!…

My Title.

2010-03-26T04:41:00.001+05:30

A FAT LIFE in every sense. Yup! that’s right! I am a pretty fat person. In literal sense as well in any other sense you can possibly imagine! ( I know, I know that i should workout and get slim! Do you think I haven't been trying???). I have and since the summers here, i will have another try in the process of getting slim ( If Possible! :P ).

A Fat Life because

Well haven't had much opportunity to look around and have some exercise! had to study you know! and the way our society still degrades the students who are much into sport. I had no other choice being a meek harmless kid like a calf in childhood. So now I got heavy butts and heavy thighs and practically everything seems heavy to me!!!
I am fatly rich even. ( What's the point in showing modesty when i have to challenge myself in here and tell the truth) So yeah! I am pretty well off and have rather spoon fed luxurious life of which I am not that proud since its not my hard earned money. But yeah I am proud of my mom and dad for being so successful. We have an alternative therapies hospital. BAPU NATURE CURE HOSPITAL AND YOGASHRAM. ( Google it if you want to have further info!) or here's the link www.bnchy.org . So my parents spent 27 years of their lives in building up this hospital and future projects and prospects are even brighter. ( i hope i dont sound like a brat mentioning all this just making a poit on how Fat I am in every sense! :P )
I am having a big FAT FAMILY. This time not in literal sense. I have a nuclear family no doubt. But relatives come and go practically, as if we have opened up a free stall of donuts. I have a pretty Big Family. Mom’s side I have 7 uncle and aunts in total. On Dad’s side I have 9 uncle and aunts in total. ( I know, during grandparents period they never heard of contraception's or family planning so they kept on producing kids one after another until both grandma's womb stopped fertilising.) Since I have so many uncles and aunts naturally, I will have cousins and lets keep it short and sum up them to be around 35. ( You see, even some of them repeated the same mistake which the grandparent’s did. :P ). LUCKILY, my mom and dad didn't do that mistake and i have only one small brother, who's a pain in the neck, I swear! And then comes the 2nd cousins… so long story in short I have more than 150 relatives in my entire family. Some of them I do know, but most of them pop up once in a while from god knows where. :P
Well since i mentioned fat! then food is the next word which pops in my mind after fat! As I am from mixed culture, I had the opportunity to taste so many delicacies with so many different flavours be it various kinds of herbs, sea food, poultry, etc. I assure you i have tried all. ( But no! I don't remember the numbers or names of restaurants! so don't bother asking! )

So, as you see that i have many things in abundant quantity and quality in my life. So what's a more appropriate title than “A FAT LIFE! In every sense”.

There are many points which I didn't mention. But i guess you get the idea by now. These points will be later on mentioned in my blog. ( Can’t write everything in a day.Right!) :P .

And yup! you are absolutely thinking correct! I do use a lot of smiley's! and I have to! to keep things a bit expressive. So even you should smile! :D With full Teeth! ( If you have any cavity or yellow teeth or broken tooth or teeth which are not aligned or disfigured!) It doesn't matter at all as long as your smiling from heart. If somebody’s got a problem, tell the to mind their own business. ( Else a better option, keep on grinning and stupidly stare at that person till he/she freaks out and run away! that will be a good lesson for that nosy person!).

Since your reading this I will officially warn you that i tend to wander off from my prime topics and i blabber a lot about useless things. So apologies, for any inconvenience. ( If you still you have a problem, mind your own business and let me write in here. After all this blog is my intellectual property).

So will call it a night for now! and get some sleep! Have to get up early! ( Real reason : don't want dark circles you see! :P ).

My First Step!

2010-03-26T03:25:00.001+05:30

Its 2:51 a.m. and I am going to say it out LOUD! That don't expect anything but brutal honesty from me in this blog of me. It may be my online diary or an outlet for me to express my thoughts.
I might pick many controversial issues or i might end up blogging like a snail for a while. Frankly saying, depends on my mood totally. I am neither arrogant nor over confident. In simple terms, I am ambivert like everyone else.

I was born and brought up in New Delhi, India. My original hometown, may be Kerala or Manipur (still confused which one I like the most). My exact location: at my home in my room ( with GREEN paint on walls) on my bed, typing on my laptop (which is RED) and wondering how to keep my cousin wide awake for studying( I should pinch her or sing loudly in her ear right?).
*Sigh*. I got a pretty colourful life in literal sense. So why did I start this blog.

To share my experience with the world? ( No, heck i don't even know whether anyone's going to read this. :P )
To keep a record of my life? (Nope, I don't need a blog for that.)
To know people from around the world? (Nope, I can do that on twitter, on facebook , in chat rooms)
To pass my time when I got nothing else to do? (Nope, I have better options than this.)

The main reason for me to start this blog is to challenge my self. Not ultimate challenge of do or die. The challenge of expressing exactly how I feel without manipulating and putting in appropriate words for the public viewing. “Sometimes things are better left unsaid” .. nothing will be unsaid in here. Everything will be out in the open.

Many people in my life, for instance, my parents, my friends have complained that i never share anything with. I am a closed book. I end up talking about others and being a good listener which I am, I end up solving there problems instead of mine. The Agony Aunt tag is suitable for me. So in here, I will be me FINALLY.

How did I get the motivation? Had fight with my pal. ( who is by the way a big JERK). End result, the anger drove me towards finding an outlet for my thoughts. SO HERE I AM. :P . n YES! i do have a temper which ticks off! pretty soon! Hehehe! :D

Since I am pretty talkative person! i may end up writing a lot! but if my mood is down! then i may not be even visible for quite a few days! ( kidding, few days a lot of time just a few hours or so :D )

So hope my experience is good enough! :)